Mama had my sister at the age of 18
10 years later had my older brother
Mama met my father somewhere in between
2 years later mama had a miscarriage
And 1 year after that came me
An 02 baby
2 years old, my lil brother came to this planet
I was a silent child but understanding
Understood that my pops had a problem with drinking
Since I was little
I was 8 or 9 when pops banged my head against the window
I can't lie I never cry
But that time a tear came to my eye
Not because my head hurt
But cause my heart was hurt inside
I shrugged my shoulders
Told myself that I'ma be alright
Anyways we at the bar
Like damn near every night
He won't even remember yesterday
By the time tomorrow's sun shines
And I still wonder if he do
But after that I hated him
I hated every time I seen him
And if you hear this mofucker
You know my mother was wonderful
Wanna know why you cheated
Why don't I love you
Well that's another reason
Mama's heart broke into pieces
Cause you sleeping with some other bitch
She moved out bought her own crib
She was lonely so I stayed with her
To keep her comforted and company
Two years later they got divorced
Was switching houses back and forth
Switched schools to one
That pops could afford
I had always been a quiet lil boy
But in my mind there was war
Started experiencing with life a lil more
That's when I started pulling hoes
Was in the 7th grade when I said fuck better grades
And started smoking dope
Back then we was young
So all my friends thought I was the baddest of them all
They flipped on me
I didn't switch on that squad
So I began to hang with others who was probably also lost
I was selling pills trying to get some extra dollar bills
I remember when the principal questioned if I was selling snow
For real
I wasn't counting enough money, so I began to steal
Invaded privacy of a home and fell in love with that thrill
Not too many other 12 year olds know how it feel
I wasn't behind the wheel
Had this desire to kill
The last week of that school year
Expelled for selling cough meds
Put me in rehab
Was the youngest in the class
Switched schools again
My peoples hated seeing me do bad
Started kicking it with other cats
Far more grown then me, that's facts
One day they set me up
Acting like I ain't know who was behind the mask
That was the first time I was pointed at gun point with a gat
Ain't hear from them, after the aftermath
Shorty after pops mom's passed
Some will say that I was heartless
Cause I didn't give a fuck about that
Well, back then my heart was black
And I was number every morning
Fast forward to the summer
Disobeying my mother
And I hated that
Hated the fact that I can't take it back
But I was breaking bad
You might not understand
But before I knew it
I was living in Wisconsin - A boys home
Learning bout the prophets of the gospel
I was lost and hard headed
Didn't want any direction
But I tried to make the best of it
After 10 months, I got back
I lost touch with my faith
I got back in the game
One night I came up on 2 bands
Same night, my first GTA
I was lost in my ways
And suicidal thoughts only added to my pain
I planned on ending it
Coincidence, a bitch hit me the same night
And she don't even know she saved my life
I fell deep in love and surely she fell too
Was the closest to happy I ever been
I should've helped you
But she got sent away to school just like I did
I still miss them days
But after that felt like I ain't have nothing left
I was weak in mind
But kept tears from being shed
I became more of a problem child with deeper problems in my head
And the walls felt my fists
I was lost so I continued hitting licks
First robbery was committed
And then GTA was pending
Got sent to military camp
Hated how I'm living
Ran away 5 times
Promised mama I'd try, but I didn't
I ran with 3 others
And let me tell you it was chilly
15 degrees in the middle of the winter
We was sleeping on a bus
So cold we lost feeling
In the middle of the night
When they was sleeping
I went out and stole some blankets
Just so they could feel heated
Gave em my gloves and my coat
Accepted I'd be dead from the cold when they woke
Felt like I didn't have a meaning so
It's more important for them to see tomorrow
But when morning rose
I saw that God had made me for a reason
Cause a youngin was still breathing
Found a bando and we slept on the floor
Went to the store to make a call
That's when sergeant had me caught
Thank God, that's what we needed
But after I got kicked out
And faced the charges that I could've went around
Everything was going bad
Like what could possibly go worse
And sure enough I felt a different type of hurt
I couldn't put my pain in words
When I heard my homie didn't know his worth
I woke up one day
My little told me he was in the grave
Lost his life to suicide
Something I ain't understand
I was mad that he would do that to his Fam
Damn, I hope you in a better place
I was angry at the world
Thought about him everyday
Went astray, started dancing with the devil
Broke in stores and more GTA
Being something I ain't
I didn't beat that case
Was locked up for some days
Life was anything but beautiful
Locked up for my grandpa's funeral
Then solitary confinement
Cause I acted a fool
You would've thought that I would come out brand new
But I went back to home invading
Went back to breaking rules
They put me on a bracelet
So I had to keep my cool
I got off, came up on a 380
And 2 more GTA cases was coming through
And my pops ain't want me round
He look at me like who is you
Man, I don't care that he gave up
He never had the strength to - stick around
When I - was doing wrong
I learned - to free my mind
Wasted tested by the lord
And I had done just fine
(That was a couple weeks ago from today
I learned to love life)
Shedding light
Feel alive for the first time
For AP believe I'ma grind
Don't you worry bout me
I been doing alright
Through the trials and tribulations
I'm no longer weak in mind
Let me give you a piece of mind
A piece you need to hear
When you look into the mirror
Don't look at your reflection as someone you hate to see, hate to be
But when you look into the output of your tears
See yourself as who you'd love to be
And soon enough you will become to be - him
Trust in me
I promise on my dead homie, on my Mama, on my Brodie
On my Granny you can be what you want to be
Just believe (2x)
Yeah
Love yourself
Your perfect
Trust yourself
Your worthy (2x)
This my story
Yeah, Yeah
If you thought that you know me
Now you really know me
If you thought that I'm your homie
I'm not, I'm your brother
If you need somebody call me
I can't take it when you suffer (2x)
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah