[Verse 1]
Just shot us a fellow and took his boots
I customize my rifle like it's 1862
Just scammed a pirate out of his golden tooth
I want to colonize this land but it's full of Zulus
Just shot us a native and killed him - bingo
If you don't speak English, you must learn the lingo
If I catch you in St Albans, you'd better wear a helmet
I keep my royal garments clean, velvet
You're going to go to Australia if you commit a crime
When I get on the gramophone, I bust a rhyme

[Verse 2]
Just shot at a black man, it was Shaka Zulu
Made India's roads, and now they smell like poo-poo
Just scammed a Chinese man into taking Opium
Just beat his ass up and took his chromium
This bastard broke as hell, he can’t even buy a rеd coat
Tried to keep our colonies, but we only had insufficiеnt funds
Scammed a Frenchman, he requested a refund
This Spaniard imitating, I might have to sink their Armada
My dumbass did the same, I shall now colonize Grenada
Scammed Napoleon off to the island of Saint Elena
Just stole my slave's food, and now he’s gotten mad
Take him to the Caribbean and now he sad (Bruh)
Chilling at home preparing for an invasion
Got so intoxicated I committed tax evasion
This bastard broke as hell, he can’t even purchase a tricorne
Just had relations with a woman yesterday and bought her a tricorne
I’m going to have intercourse with this woman and buy her a cup of tea
This bastard Napoleon angry as hell, beat him so hard he had to flee