[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?

[Verse 1]
Isaac Newton took a nap
Well, at least until that apple fell
And struck him on his cranial cavity
He sat up and screamed
"By gum, it's a gravenstein"
But, everybody thought he said gravity

[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?

[Verse 2]
Johnny Appleseed succeeded in seeding apple seeds
From sea to sea, that he succeeded you can still see
You can sip cider through a straw
But don't sit under the apple tree
With anybody else but me
[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?

[Verse 3]
Now, Apple's a computer, and it couldn't be cuter
There's a menu for every Apple appetite
Why there’s even software for Apple pi-R-squared
So, cook some up, and have a little gigabyte

[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?

[Verse 4]
In Eden, Eve and Adam perceived their anatomies
As pure as nuns in a chapel
'Til a pippin she was nibblin' labeled Eve evil
But heck, it was Adam's apple
[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?

[Verse 5]
After serving him the strudel, William Tell said to Jubal
"Won't you let me shoot this apple off your noodle?"
So, aiming for the fruit
An arrow Will did shoot
But he shot him in the streudel
Toodle-doodle

[Chorus]
Oh gosh, it's a McIntosh
Squash it into applesauce
Golden Delicious, with dapples
Northern Spy, Granny Smiths, lip-smackin' pippins with cheese
How do you like them apples?