[Verse 1]
Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I got married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon the two were wed

[Verse 2]
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

[Verse 3]
This little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so he is my unclе even though it makes mе sad
'Cause if he is my uncle then that also makes him brother
To the widow's lovely daughter who of course is my stepmother

[Verse 4]
Father's wife then had a child which kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son
My wife she is my mother's mother and it makes me blue
'Cause even though she is my wife she's my grandmother too

[Verse 5]
Now if she is my grandmother then I am her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpaw
[Verse 6]
Oh, I'm my own grandpaw, I'm my own grandpaw
It sounds funny I know, but it really is so
I'm my own grandpaw