When someone's done a bad thing
With fateful consequences
Unless the crime's acknowledged
There's no hope for mending fences
So we hang our heads in sorrow
And confess our collective guilt
To you august Hibernians
Who proudly wear the kilt

We're so sorry, Scotland
We are covered in shame
For the madness of Brexit
We're entirely to blame
With a choice of two boxes
We ticked "Self-destruct"
Thus Britain is now
Comprehensively fucked

We're so sorry, Scotland
To see such division
We are banking on you
To reverse the decision
Although we were warned
That this course was unwise
Many Sassenach bampots
Believed all the lies
[refrain]
Oh Scotland, deliver us from evil
Oh Scotland, we were silly fools
Only you can can save us from upheaval
Please invoke some parliamentary rules
Mrs Sturgeon, won't you be our saviour?
Let's not rebuild Hadrian's Wall
Oh Scotland, forgive our bad behaviour
United we stand
Divided we fall

We're so sorry, Scotland
For the likes of Farage
And his NHS millions
Which were just a mirage
Oh yes, we're in a pickle
Come rescue us, Nicola!
Because as pickles go
This couldn't be pickle-er

We're so sorry, Scotland
For the way people voted
There's no way that this pill
Can be sugar-coated
The Union's future
Is stuffed on all fronts
So it's hardly surprising
That you think we're all cunts
[refrain]
Oh Scotland, deliver us from evil
Oh Scotland, we were silly fools
Only you can can save us from upheaval
Please invoke some parliamentary rules
Mrs Sturgeon, won't you be our saviour?
Let's not rebuild Hadrian's Wall
Oh Scotland, forgive our bad behaviour
United we stand
Divided we fall
United we stand
Divided we fall
United we stand…