[Adèle, Dillie & Liza]
Me and my hubby, planning on retiring
Wanted some fun before expiring
Little did we know fate was conspiring
To dunk us in the soup
Ruin our plans in one fell swoop

Some years ago our son and our daughter
Each bought a place in a fashionable quarter
Then our son got into hot water
Went and lost his flat
Nowhere to live so that was that

Boomerang kids, we have really missed him
Boomerang kids, hugged him and we kissed him
Boomerang kids, happy to assist him
Ever so glad he calls it home

First few weeks we hardly ever saw him
Still, of course, continued to adore him
Wondered if we really rather bore him
But he's our son
Got his own life when all is said and done

Being unemployed cannot be easy
Must be why he's grumpy so I keep bright and breezy
Try to cheer him up with something hot and cheesy
Which he won't eat
He's decided he's a vegan and allergic to wheat
Boomerang kids, used to be so laddish
Boomerang kids, now he's fussy and he's faddish
Boomerang kids, we're sick to death of radish
And we're taking spirulina
Our colons are cleaner
There are some days when it doesn't feel like home

Middle of the night, rudely awoken
Daughter on the doorstep, heartbroken
Left her man after words were spoken
She brought the kids too
Had to take them in, well, what could we do?

Neither of the teenagers likes conversing
The ten year-old makes us watch him rehearsing
And though they're nearly four, the twins are still nursing
Don't like it one bit
Friends won't visit 'cause they're always on the tit

Boomerang kids, everybody's wrangling
Boomerang kids, nerves are jangling
Boomerang kids, thoughts have turned to strangling
The kids play Motörhead ([Liza: Waaaaaa!])
We hear it when we go to bed ([Dillie: Oooooh!])
We're sleeping on the sofa bed ([Adèle: Owww!])
Hard to believe this was once our home
You try to feed nine people on a pension
Someone took the car and buggered the suspension
Fuck right off, we're not building an extension
Cue the rise of laughter, ha!
They say they're entitled to being looked after

Our son's comfort eating, he's a fat lazy porker
Our daughter has become her ex's stalker
Bang go our plans of escaping to Majorca
We feed 'em and we clothe 'em
Happy to admit we absolutely loathe 'em

Boomerang kids, don't care if we upset them
Boomerang kids, where did we get them?
Boomerang kids, God we regret them
No wonder we're glum
We haven't got a crumb
We've moved in with mum
Sheltered housing in Brum
So from here on in, this'll be our home

Shut up!