[Spoken]
Hello, darling. You're in a meeting, aren't you? How wonderful, you can't talk! (laughs) Just say "yes" and I'll see if I can guess who's in the room with you...your boss? The producer? And Sheila? (gasps) You've got to get out, I've got to see you now. Usual place? Okay then, see you later. Bye

[Sung]
Let's go to a hotel
Let's go to a place where they don't know us well
Don't keep the receipt
That's how most wives discover their husbands' deceipt
We'll take all precautions to cover our tracks
We'll meet in the bar and try to relax
So let's drown our guilt with a couple of gins
'Cause this is a game that nobody wins
Come Sunday I'll ask God to pardon my sins
Oh, let's go to a hotel

Let's fall through the door
Let's rip off our clothing and roll 'round the floor
Please turn down the light
It's mid-afternoon and we want to pretend that it's night
God, it's so thrilling to take such a risk
Do it again, but mind your slipped disc
You, Michael Douglas and me, Sharon Stone
I've seen all the films and I know how to moan
Yes, that's so good, don't answer the phone
Oh, let's go to a hotel
There isn't much time for finesse when you're having a quickie
So don't get too carried away and give me a hickie
I'd quite like to see you again, but you're even vaguer
Please, try not to tear it, it's Janet Reger

Let's not get involved
Let's just keep it casual as we first resolved
Don't ring me at home
Make sure you remove my blonde hairs from your comb
Don't mention my name at the office too much
I earn more than you, I insist we go Dutch
We're bound to be safe if we stick to the rules
It'll lessen the pain when the love-making cools
But for now, let's behave like two passionate fools
Oh, let's go to a hotel

Everyone does it these days, so why should we worry?
It's much more exciting to do it when one has to hurry
I'm certain your colleagues suspected the moment I met them
Yes, I did bring the condoms 'cause somehow, you always forget them

Let's bathe in champagne
Eat strawberries and cream from my navel, it drives me insane
Quick, let's take a shower
Remember, we've got to be out of here in half an hour
Get out our diaries, when shall we meet?
Is that your youngest? She looks awfully sweet
So it's "Farewell, hotel room of orange and brown"
And casual if we ever meet up in town
I've got to cook supper! Oh God, put me down!
Oh, let's go to a hotel!
Oh! Oh...ahh