Joss Whedon
The Avengers: The Helicarrier
[Fury is facing several large monitors as he is in a video conference with the World Security Council]

World Security Council #1: This is out of line, Director. You're dealing with forces you can't control.

Nick Fury: You ever been in a war, Councilman? In a firefight? Did you feel an over abundance of control?

World Security Council #1: You saying that this Asgard has declared war on our planet?

Nick Fury: Not Asgard. Loki.

World Security Council #2: He can't be working alone. What about the other one? His brother.

Nick Fury: Our intelligence says, Thor is not a hostile. But he's worlds away, we can't depend on him to help either. It's up to us.

World Security Council #1: Which is why you should be focusing on phase 2, it was designed for exactly...

Nick Fury: Phase 2 isn't ready, our enemy is. We need a response team.

World Security Council #1: The Avengers Initiative was shut down.

Nick Fury: This isn't about The Avengers.

World Security Council #1: We're running the world's greatest covert security network and you're gonna leave the fate of human race to a handful of freaks.

Nick Fury: I'm not leaving anything to anyone. We need a response team. These people may be isolated, unbalanced even, but I believe with the right push they can be exactly what we need.
World Security Council #2: You believe?

World Security Council #1: War isn't won by sentiment, Director.

Nick Fury: No, it's won by soldiers.

[Steve is pummeling a punching bag in a gym, as he remembers how he ended up getting frozen in the ocean, he becomes angry and knocks the punching bag off it's chain, as he picks up another, Fury walks in]

Nick Fury: Trouble sleeping?

Steve Rogers: I slept for seventy years, sir. I think I've had my fill.

Nick Fury: Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world.

Steve Rogers: I went under, the world was at war, I wake up, they say we won. They didn't say what we lost.

Nick Fury: We've made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently.

Steve Rogers: You here with a mission, sir?

Nick Fury: I am.

Steve Rogers: Trying to get me back in the world?

Nick Fury: Trying to save it. [Fury gives Steve the file on Tesseract to look at]
Steve Rogers: Hydra's secret weapon.

Nick Fury: Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you. He thought what we think, the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs.

Steve Rogers: Who took it from you?

Nick Fury: He's called Loki. He's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.

Steve Rogers: At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me.

Nick Fury: Ten bucks says you're wrong. [Steve turns and picks up a punching bag] There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment. [with the punching bag on his shoulder, Steve starts walking out of the gym] Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?

Steve Rogers: You should have left it in the ocean.

[Stark in his Iron Man suit is working on getting his energy line to work]
Tony Stark: You're good to go on this end. The rest is up to you.

Pepper Potts: You disconnected the transition lines? Are we off the grid?

Tony Stark: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self sustaining clean energy.

Pepper Potts: Wow, so maybe our reactor takes over and it actually works?

Tony Stark: I assume. Light her up. [as Stark is flying in his suit, we see a large skyscraper building with the name STARK lit up in lights]

Pepper Potts: How does it look?
Tony Stark: Like Christmas, but with more... me.

Pepper Potts: Gotta go wider on the public awareness campaign. You need to do some press. I can do some more tomorrow, I'm working on the zoning for the next billboards.

Tony Stark: Pepper, you're killing me. Remember? Enjoy the moment. [as Stark arrives at his skyscraper penthouse and is in the process of taking off his Iron Man suit]

Jarvis: Sir, Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. is on the line.

Tony Stark: I'm not in. I'm actually out.

Jarvis: Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting.

Tony Stark: Close the line Jarvis. I got a date.

Pepper Potts: Levels are holding steady... I think.

Tony Stark: Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question. How does it feel to be a genius?

Pepper Potts: Well, ha, I really wouldn't know now, would I?

Tony Stark: What do you mean? All this, came from you.

Pepper Potts: No. All this, came from that. [she points to the energy in his chest plate]

Tony Stark: Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... twelve percent of the credit.

Pepper Potts: Twelve percent?

Tony Stark: An argument can be made for fifteen.
Pepper Potts: Twelve percent for my baby?
Tony Stark: Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you.

Pepper Potts: Oooooh!

Tony Stark: My private elevator.

Pepper Potts: You mean our elevator?

Tony Stark: It was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later on, aren't I?

Pepper Potts: Not gonna be that subtle.

Tony Stark: I'll tell you what. Next building is gonna say 'Potts' on the tower.

Pepper Potts: On the lease.

Tony Stark: Call your mom, can you bunk over?

Jarvis: Sir, the telephone. I'm afraid my protocol's are being overwritten. [Coulson's voice can be heard through Stark's phone]

Phil Coulson: Stark, we need to talk. [Stark picks up his phone and looks into it at Coulson]

Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.

Phil Coulson: This is urgent.

Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently. [at that moment the elevator door opens and Coulson appears] Security breach. [to Pepper] That's on you.

Phil Coulson: Mr. Stark.

Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in.

Tony Stark: Phil?

Phil Coulson: I can't stay.

Tony Stark: Uh... his first name is Agent.

Pepper Potts: [to Coulson] Come on in, we're celebrating.

Tony Stark: Which is why he can't stay.

Phil Coulson: We need you to look this over. [he holds out a file towards Stark] Soon as possible.

Tony Stark: I don't like being handed things.

Pepper Potts: That's alright, cause I love to be handed things. So, let's trade. [she passes her glass of champagne to Coulson and takes the file from him, then takes her champagne glass back from Coulson and passes the file over to Stark] Thank you.

Tony Stark: Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.

Agent Phil Coulson: This isn't a consultation.

Pepper Potts: Is this about The Avengers? Which I... I know nothing about.

Tony Stark: The Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.

Pepper Potts: I didn't know that either.

Tony Stark: Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self obsessed, don't play well with others.

Pepper Potts: That I did know.

Agent Phil Coulson: This isn't about personality profiles anymore.

Tony Stark: Whatever. Miss Potts, got a minute? You know, I thought we were having a moment.

Pepper Potts: I was having twelve percent of a moment. This seems serious, Phil's pretty shaken.

Tony Stark: How did you notice? Why is he Phil? [referring to the file Coulson had given to Stark]

Pepper Potts: What is all this?

Tony Stark: This is uh... [with a flick of his hand he spreads all the profiles of the other Avengers on to the different computer

screens] This. [Pepper looks at all their profiles in awe]

Pepper Potts: I'm going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.

Tony Stark: Tomorrow.

Pepper Potts: You have homework. You have a lot of homework.

Tony Stark: Well, what if I didn't?

Pepper Potts: If you didn't?

Tony Stark: Yeah.

Pepper Potts: You mean if you finished? [Stark nods his head] Well, um...then [she whispers something in his ear and Coulson looks away in embarrassment]

Tony Stark: Square deal. It's the last date. [Pepper kisses him]

Pepper Potts: Work hard.

[Steve Rogers looking at the Banner's file]
Steve Rogers: So this Dr. Banner was trying to replicate the serum that was used on me?

Phil Coulson: A lot of people were. You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought gammer radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula.

Steve Rogers: Didn't really go his way, did it?

Phil Coulson: Not so much. When he's not that thing though, guy's like a Stephen Hawking. [Steve looks at Coulson in confusion] He's like a smart person. I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. [Steve looks at Coulson in amusement] I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a...just a huge honor to have you on board.

Steve Rogers: Well, I hope I'm the man for the job.

Phil Coulson: Oh, you are. Absolutely. Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input.

Steve Rogers: The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old fashioned?

Phil Coulson: Everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned.

[Back in outer space]
The Other: The Chitauri grow restless.

Loki: Let them grow restless. I will lead them in the glorious battle.

The Other: Battle? Against a meagre might of earth?

Loki: Glorious, not lengthy. If your force is as formidable as you claim.

The Other: You question us? Question him? He who put the scepter in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose? When you were cast out, defeated!

Loki: I was a king! The rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed.

The Other: Your ambition is little and full of childish need. We're beyond the earth to greater worlds. The Tesseract will avail.

Loki: You don't have the Tesseract yet. [suddenly The Other moves towards Loki] I don't threaten. But until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words.

The Other: If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevasse where I can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for that so sweet as pain.

[after Coulson brings Steve to the Helicarrier, which is a
high-tech, flying aircraft carrier]
Natasha Romanoff: There was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?

Steve Rogers: Trading cards?

Natasha Romanoff: They're vintage, he's very proud.

Steve Rogers: Dr. Banner. [Banner shakes hands with Steve]

Bruce Banner: Oh, yeah. Hi. They told me you'd be coming.

Steve Rogers: Word is you can find the cube.

Bruce Banner: Is that the only word on me?

Steve Rogers: Only word I care about.

Bruce Banner: Must be strange for you, all of this.

Steve Rogers: Well, this is actually kind of familiar.

Natasha Romanoff: Gentlemen, you may wanna step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breath. [suddenly the Helicarrier starts shaking as it prepares to fly]

Steve Rogers: Is this is a submarine?

Bruce Banner: Really? They wanted me in a submerged pressurized metal container? [they both move closer to the edge of the Helicarrier and watch in awe as it starts to lift into the air] Oh, no. This is much worse.

Nick Fury: [to Steve and Banner after they watch in awe as the Helicarrier takes off and off] Gentlemen. [Steve gives Fury 10 bucks, referring to his earlier statement about never being surprised again] Doctor, thank you for coming.

Bruce Banner: Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh... how long am I staying?

Nick Fury: Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear.

Bruce Banner: Where are you with that? [Fury points to Coulson to explain]

Agent Phil Coulson: We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us.

Natasha Romanoff: That's still not gonna find them in time.

Bruce Banner: You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?

Nick Fury: How many are there?

Bruce Banner: Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?

Nick Fury: Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory, please.

Natasha Romanoff: You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys.