[Intro]
It's New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies

[Verse 1]
I'm not gonna smoke, stop eatin' such a dope [?]
I'm gonna lose weight, stop being so late
And try to save money, stop cursin' so funny
I ain't gonna litter, flirt with the babysitter
Put my stereo loud, pass [?] in the crowd
Take the garbage out, waste water in the drought
Won't use credit cards, gonna mow the backyard
Restyle my hair and change my underwear

[Chorus]
New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies

[Verse 2]
Find a new career and drink less beer
Won't pollute the air, check out derriere
Try to spend less cash, recycle my trash
Won't bite my nails, try to stay outta jail
Better start to jog before I replug
Make out a will, turn the [?] bill
Teach the dog not to bark, pay out the loan shark
Won't cheat the IRS, cut down on my stress
Then I'll tell my mother "give some money to my brother"
Snap out of this phase, ask my boss for a raise
Get a new Adam's tooth, stop eatin' junk food
Brush after meals, get my kids not to steal
Gonna check in the mail: "oh hey, wholesale"
Cut the summer shorts, stop playin' the horse [?]
Gotta save some cash, see ya, doctor from the trash
Gonna thank my cousin, take the bottles for deposit
[Chorus]
New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies
New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies

[Verse 3]
Return phone calls, avoid the shopping malls
And don't [?] on the bathroom wall
Go to church on Sunday and run on Monday
Stop hittin' on girls and watchin' their curls [?]
Fix the ozone layer, go vote for new mayor
Gonna get a new model, I'm gonna win the lotto
Gonna paint the halls, be the man, not a mouse
Gonna get a new life, be straight with my wife

[Outro]
New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies
New Year's resolution time, kiss another year goodbye
These New Year's resolutions are just another pack of lies