[KATE, spoken:]
Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself!
And I'm gonna teach something relevant
Something modern;
The internet!

[KATE:]
The internet is really really great

[TREKKIE MONSTER:]
For porn

[KATE:]
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait

[TREKKIE:]
For porn

[KATE:]
What?
There's always some new site

[TREKKIE:]
For porn!

[KATE:]
I browse all day and night
[TREKKIE:]
For porn!

[KATE:]
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light

[TREKKIE:]
For porn!

[KATE:]
Trekkie!

[TREKKIE:]
The internet is for porn

[KATE:]
Trekkie!

[TREKKIE:]
The internet is for porn

[KATE:]
What are you doing!?

[TREKKIE:]
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn
[KATE:]
Trekkie!

[TREKKIE:]
Oh! Hello, Kate Monster

[KATE:]
You are ruining my song

[TREKKIE:]
Oh, me sorry, me no mean to

[KATE:]
Well, if you wouldn't mind, please
Being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

[TREKKIE:]
Okie Dokie

[KATE:]
Good!
I'm glad we have this new technology

[TREKKIE:]
For porn- oh!
[KATE:]
Ugh
Which gives us untold opportunity

[TREKKIE:]
For porn—
Oops, sorry

[KATE:]
Right from you own desktop

[TREKKIE:]
For—

[KATE:]
You can research, browse and shop
Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop

[TREKKIE:]
For porn!

[KATE:]
Trekkie!

[TREKKIE:]
The internet is for porn!

[KATE:]
Noooo

[TREKKIE:]
The internet is for porn!

[KATE:]
Trekkie

[TREKKIE:]
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

[KATE:]
That's gross! You're a pervert

[TREKKIE:]
Ah, sticks and stones, Kate Monster

[KATE:]
No, really, you're a pervert
Normal people don't sit at home and look
At porn on the internet

[TREKKIE:]
Ohhhh?

[KATE:]
What?!

[TREKKIE:]
You have no idea
Ready, normal people?

[BRIAN]
Ready!

[GARY]
Ready!

[ROD]
Ready!

[TREKKIE:]
Lemme hear it!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
The internet is for porn!

[PRINCETON:]
Sorry, Kate

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
The internet is for porn!

[PRINCETON:]
I masturbate!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

[KATE:]
The internet is not for porn!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
Porn, porn—

[KATE:]
Hold on a second!

[TREKKIE MONSTER:]
Wha-

[KATE:]
Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Rod, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

[ROD:]
That' s correct

[KATE:]
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

[BRIAN:]
Sure!

[KATE:]
And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on eBay

[GARY:]
Yes I do!

[KATE:]
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

[PRINCETON:]
True!

[TREKKIE:]
Oh, but Kate
What you think he do... after? Hmm?

[PRINCETON:]
Yeah

[KATE:]
Ewww!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
The internet is for porn!

[KATE:]
Gross!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
The internet is for porn!

[KATE:]
I hate porn

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
Grab your dick and double-click
For porn, porn porn

[KATE:]
I hate men!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
(Harmonizing) Porn, porn, porn, porn

[KATE:]
I' m leaving!

[TREKKIE AND GUYS:]
Porn, porn, porn, porn

[KATE:]
I hate the Internet!

[TREKKIE:]
The Internet is for

[TREKKIE AND SOME:]
The Internet is for

[TREKKIE AND ALL:]
The Internet is for porn!

[TREKKIE:]
Yeah!