Manila Luzon
The Official Trailer (Intro)
[Skit]
Announcer: In a world where every drag queen releases an album…
Woman: We don't need a backing track
Announcer: Even if they can't sing…
Woman: We'll do it a capella!
Women: Yeah!

Announcer: One brave queen returns…
Manila Luzon: She's back again? Really?
Announcer: To stand out from them all…
Manila Luzon: They don't know what's gonna hit them. Duck!
*Glass shattering*
Announcer: By releasing an album even though she can't sing
Manila Luzon: (I'm the greatest star)

Woman: Her name is Vanilla?
Alaska Thunderfuck: No, with an M. Manila, like the envelope
Woman: What drag queen names herself after office supplies?

Announcer: Prepare to go on an ear-gripping journey…
*Tires screeching*
Announcer: Through the discorded melodies of a person whose wig is on way too tight

Alaska Thunderfuck: This is real life, not a CD, Margaret! You can't just skip ahead to the next track!
Woman: Oh, yeah? Watch me
*Gun shot*
Manila Luzon: Someone call an ambulance; she's sickening!
Announcer: Listen as Manila struggles to rhyme lyrics…
Manila Luzon: What rhymes with "Mary wrote him?" "Dairy frozen?" "Fairy totem?" "Hairy scrotum!"
Announcer: And sing out of her range…
Manila Luzon: I'm giving it all she's got, Captain! I don't have the power!
Announcer: In an epic quest to get that B hook stuck in your head forever
Manila Luzon: We can do this the easy way or the hard way

Announcer: So get ready in your hottest couture…
Alaska Thunderfuck: Promise me you're not wearing that pineapple dress again
Announcer: For the musical adventure that only comes once… or twice… or however many times… depending if you leave this album on repeat
Woman: Here we go again

Announcer: Manila Luzon, Rules!