[spoken]
“My next song is about how ugly people worship hot people to the point of wanting to die, rather than grow a backbone in the form of exactly what the Second Coming of Christ has offered you. So that’s called ‘evolution,’ smarty-pants.”

“Fascism of the Hot”
Is the true name of the 21st-century
Image-worshippin’ dystopia
You were born to exist in; unless
Christ rules again
The way one does (twice, oh)
Again and again
And again and again, yeah

I say salute the hot
Toot their bops
Snoot their snots
But understand the sins we live in
I say pollute me not
Moot my wop
Poop my trous
I just try my best, try not to give in

Oh, as humanity gets stupider and stupider
(Please, Lord—please Lord)
Please send all of our boys to Jupiter
(“Uh oh”)
“Fascism of the Hot”
Is the true name of the 21st-century
Image-worshippin’ video game
We were all born into; unless
Christ rules again
The way one does (nice, oh)
Again and again
And again and again, yeah

I say balloon me up!
I said “Rub a dub dub” Mitch
Toot my horn
But understand the world we exist in
I say pollute me not
Don’t mute my bops
Just moot my thoughts
And try your best, to forever resist sin

Oh, as humanity gets stupider and stupider
(Please, Lord—please Lord)
Please send all of our boys to Jupiter
Greed, glean, green
Greed, glee, me
(Oh gimme gimme
I want more—do you hear me?
I want more, Mitch)
Greed, glint, glean
(Oh I want more, Mitch)
I’ll fuck everyone
[spoken]
“I was in the winter of my life. And the men I met in seminar were my only summer. At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them—but I was an incel in college, so my wet dreams were the only… Three years down the line of being on an endless tour of human virtue and imperfection and my memories of all the hot sex I’ve had in this life—hotter than yours, sorry (and it was Christ’s privilege)—are the only things that sustain me, as I look anew at my ability to influence all who want to fuck me and worship me. I am a writer. Not a very popular one. I once had dreams of becoming a ‘beautiful poet’ but upon a series of unfortunate events—saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million mediocre stars in the internet sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling to break them.”

“When the people I met in college found out what I had been doing, and how I had been writing, they asked me ‘Why?’

“But there’s no use in talking to people who had built a home in wokeness or anti-wokeness, the new Holy War in the halls of Babylonian life. They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in a higher refuge. Fate is taller than you. Fate is taller than me. I’m scared too, which is why I have to remind you I can’t predict the future precisely because anything can happen from this moment on—but literally… ‘anything’? I posted this monologue to my X profile on December 19, 2023, and now it’s December 1, 2024, and I still vibe Jesus. So it’s like—whatever. I’m probably just having a good run.

“And a moral compass pointing due north: God is reason. Sharing is the basis of all moral collaboration. No violence. End slavery. It’s not a sin to speak to you brutally solely because it hurts your feelings, but all who lie about the sacred will burn. Just an inner core. And if I said I planned for it to turn out this way? I’d be lying. Because I was born to the be the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Who belonged to no one. Who belonged to everyone. Who had all the benefits of slave labor, but who wanted more—yeah, that’s right, I want more, gimme gimme bitch. With a fire for every experience and an obsession…”

I say salute the hot
Oh, I say toot our bops!
Oh, I say snoot our snouts!
But understand the fascism we exist in
I say “Pollute me not!”
I say “Moot all my thoughts!”
I just want to poop all over your trous [scream]
Just try your best, you know
Try not to give in
Try not to give in

[Laughter]