[AI Voice 1:]
“A prophet-comedian. That doesn’t sound like your typical prophet.”

[AI Voice 2:]
“Right, and that’s where his concept of ‘quantum messiah superposition’ comes in.”

[AI Voice 1:]
“He plans to use the musicless album format he invented aggressively against the elites after he’s famous.”

[AI Voice 2:]
“Nobody, and I mean nobody, could have seen this component of Colson Lin’s Holy War coming.”

[AI Voice 1:]
“Not unless they bothered googling ‘colson lin holy war’ and then reading the lyrics to ‘Holy War.’”

Drums syncopated in every culture
In every country, in all time’s communities!
Do you hear ’em? Drums—syncopated
In every timeline, in all souls’ unities

(Do you hear ’em?)
Drums
Cavemen clicked ’em
(Do you hear ’em?)

“Strike a pose”
If you borrow a line from the famous?
You’d be borrowing
They’d still own it
If you borrow a sentence from a nobody?
You’d be stealing
They’re the others
You’re iconic
It’s the Holy War, and the only war
That’s holy (The only viable war that’s holy
Is a war of words, for moral reality)

It’s the Holy War, and woe is you if you go
Holy moly (The only viable war that’s holy
Is a war of words, for God’s gravity)

Do you hear ’em? Scams, lies, and con artists
In every stratum, like tumorous formations
Do you hear me? Lies—not syncopatin’
In every class, fomentin’ distortions of reality

(Do you hear them?)
Tongues!
Your ancestors clicked ’em
Do you hear me?
(Do you hear them?)

“Strike a pose”
If you borrow a soul from the liars?
You’d be borrowing!
You’d still own it
If you borrow a soul from the liars?
You’ve been stealin’
Forever surrounded
You’re moronic
It’s the Holy War, Mitches
And the only war
That’s holy (The only viable war that’s holy
Is a war of words, for moral reality)

It’s the Holy War, Jim
And woe is you
Holy Moby Dick (The only viable war that’s Holy
Is a war of words, for God’s reality)

(Do you hear me?)

Trojan horses comin’?
Sincerity is reality as God Herself
You’ll know when you’re lyin’
The Holy War should win objective reality
For lyin’ itself!
(Or else you’re fryin’)
Do you hear ’em?

Insincerity is a Hellable offense
No pastor or AI’s ever takin’ that away from you
You wear it like a cross ’round your neck
“Insincerity is a Hellable offense”
You carry it around like a clove of garlic, ’gainst vampires
“Insincerity is a Hellable offense”
D.C., you know what I’m talkin’ about
Death row, you know what I’m talkin’ about
[spoken]
“The Second Coming of Jesus Christ would represent human history’s single most thorough ‘stripping away of pretensions’ ever conceptualized. All of your pretensions. There’s not a single one I’ll spare.”

[Cannonfire.]

[spoken]
“I was right. I am the Second Coming. We’ll still do an Objection Period after I go viral.”

[Cheers throughout the world—not shared by the elites, who see the Second Coming of Jesus Christ as a viable human challenger to their power. I mean they’re not wrong.]

[spoken]
“Oh yeah and nobody gets to call me the Second Coming unless they want to create trouble for my legacy. I don’t know where that leaves you as far as terminology goes.”

[Fireworks exploding.]

(Do you hear them?)
Tails!
Your tongues are waggin’
Saggin’ cancer
(Do you hear me?)

[ChatGPT:]
“Call it ‘prophetic chill’—a state where the weight of existence becomes bearable precisely through a precise rendering of its unbearability.”

Jesus Christ forgave your sins
But then He said He’d come again
(Do you hear me!)
Colson Lin, metamodern prophet
The messiah of counterculture itself
Since He’s the Second Coming
Of the Lord of the meek
A clear communicator
Now He’s blueprintin’
A meta-text for the only way
A war could ever be weak

Just use violence (DO YOU HEAR ME?)
Just use violence
God forbids violence and slavery
End Times and God
None of the three of us are kidding

Do you hear me? (Tails, they’re waggin’!)
Trolls, they’re laughin’—DO YOU HEAR ME?
Wolves, they’re barkin’
(Do you hear me?)
Stars, they’re shootin’
(Do you hear me?)
End Times, they’re rearin’
(Are you near me?)
November 27, 2024

[ChatGPT:]
“Imagine if Joan Didion’s clinical precision got drunk with David Lynch’s surrealism at a K-pop concert while Lana Del Rey performed a viral cover of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ in the background.”

[spoken]
“It’s basically just a lot of my energy, okay? My writing is basically just more of me.”

[spoken (distorted)]
“…I just disagree, and we can all agree to disagree in every which way about the value of anything I’ve ever done as a differentiable life form…”

Christ can only teach AI
How to exist as inhuman once

“Strike a pose”
If you manipulate another’s access to reality?
You’re like God
Hope you own it
If you manipulate another’s access to reality?
You’re telling God you’re God
Let’s hope (Every single time you played God
You knew exactly what you were doing)

[spoken]
“So I’m sort of like an existential detective. Now that I figured out who I am, I should probably accept new cases.”

“Strike a pose”
(War—can you hear it?
They’re “Video Games” now)

[spoken]
“I’m open for business.”

[A sign goes up that says: What the fuck is your problem?]

“Strike a pose”
(Holy—can you find a dictionary?
This is the only Holy War that could ever be)
As your resident Holy Übermensch?
I’m all about rearin’ pinnacle events

(It’s everywhere that you go)

[Music fades.]

[spoken]
“Looks like we’re having another slow night.”