[Intro: Skullkruncher]
I know this is the guy
Listen, I know this is the guy
Quentin, you know this is the guy!
I'm sneaking with suspicion, but I need to peek inside
"Sorry, no one's home" (Where'd he go?)
"Or so it would appear" (I don't see)
"Trust us, you're alone" (Unlock the door)
"But there's one thing you should fear" (I'll find the keys)
"Danger's on the road" (Here he comes)
"We can steer you clear" (Buckle up)
"You should just go home" (Better run)
"'Cause there's nothing to see here"

[Verse 1: Skullkruncher]
I've come to get the scoop
Tell me why the kids are gone
I'm gonna keep diggin' until I get to the bottom
Since they went simming, it's like everyone forgot 'em
I've found zero marbles, the town must've lost 'em
I've yet to meet my neighbor, what's he up to at night?
There's something in his basement and my yarn's getting light
I heard a word on the street, he's just the unluckiest guy
But he's certainly hiding skeletons, I'm wondering why
'Cause I'm like—
[Chorus: Skullkruncher]
Uh, knock-knock, ding-dong
Is anybody home right now? (Hello?)
Because it's been too long
Since anybody has come out (Anyone home?)
Did I witness something wicked in the window?
Just thought I oughtta drop on by (How you doin'?)
You had me at the jump from the get-go (Uh-oh)
'Cause the lights are on, but it's like no one's inside

[Verse 2: Skullkruncher]
He's got the cops in his pocket, so I'm doing their job
I'm just a cutthroat reporter, it's my duty to prod
Officer, I'm sorry to stop you from nodding off
You should probably toss the donuts, and get back on your watch
Next up, the taxidermist, "Mister Otto, how ya doing?
Had any recent projects that were, I don't know, human?"
This is a hit piece, I'm on the trigger, 'bout to pull it
But you're dodging questions like I'm dodgin' bullets
No pun intended, that end could not have been deader
So I headed to the bakery 'cause I had yet to vet her
I'm cooking up a story, help me with the recipe
It's about invasive neighbors, I got one next to me!
But the baker was evasive, so I took aim at the mayor
I don't mean to interrupt, but could you cut the record player?
Beg your pardon, I'm a cat person, so I hate to hound ya
But in case you didn't hear before, I'll say it louder
[Chorus: Skullkruncher]
Uh, knock-knock, ding-dong
Is anybody home right now? (Hello?)
'Cause something's awfully wrong
I'm gonna get it figured out (I'm coming in)
I've found a way to weasel through the window
I wonder what you're tryna hide ('Cause I like to pry)
Suspicion can be gripping, so I must know
Why nobody's home, but they left on all the lights

[Verse 3: Patfan, Skullkruncher, Skullkruncher & Patfan]
You don't know what I've been through (You don't know what he's been through)
All the hell that I've seen (All the hell that he's seen)
One more nightmare to get through (La-la-la-la-la-la)
Trying to survive the design of my dreams
I've built and I've lost
I know too well the cost of audacious innovation
But with you gone, I can move on
Now I've lost all of my patience
After all these years, and after all these tears
Somebody's come to threaten me again and all of my peers?
No, my home's my own, this is my zone to roam!
It's my house— but I doubt that you're all alone
I know what you're up to, I've gathered all the evidence
Honestly, a bit of therapy could help your betterment
But with all the tension building, masculinity reigns
So we'll both bury our trauma and go on with our days
Well, I guess I got to the bottom, now I'm closing the case
(Go on and—)
[Chorus: Skullkruncher]
Uh, knock-knock, ding-dong
Can't make it to the door right now (Go away)
I know it's been so long
Since anyone went in or out (Bye-bye)
If you witnessed something wicked in the window
You probably don't wanna pry (Uh-uh)
I'll have you at the jump from the get-go
'Cause the lights are on, but it's like no one's inside

[Outro: Skullkruncher]
No hellos, just goodbye
You should run for the exercise
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na