[Verse 1]
The first time we met
You were a kennel maid
You gave me a tip
I got me forecast paid
You were holding the greyhound
In trap number one
Your white coat was shining
In the afternoon sun

[Chorus 1]
Now we're both together
We're never gonna break apart, no no
'Cause we're a happy couple, you and me
With a greyhound at either knee

[Interlude]
"I'll have ten shillings to win
On Camira Flash, young man"
"Hey, what dog's that?"
"Hey, its... it's the duke's dog, innit?"

[Pre-Chorus]
There was nothing in my life
Bigger than beer
There was nothing in my life
Bigger than beer
[Chorus 2]
'Ceptin' you, little darling
'Ceptin' you, little darling
We're a happy couple, you and me
With a greyhound at either knee

[Verse 2]
We go to the dog track
On Saturday nights
We put all our money
On a dog that we like
A kiss and a cuddle
And hot meat pie
Two dollar tickets
And a starry sky

[Pre-Chorus]
There was nothing in my life
Bigger than beer
There was nothing in my life
Bigger than beer

[Chorus 3]
'Ceptin' you, little darling
'Ceptin' you, little darling
We're a happy couple, you and me
With a baby on either knee
[Chorus 4]
Yes it's you, little darling
Yes it's you, little darling
Now it's you, little darling
Now it's you

[Outro]
"Eh, where's me wage packet?
Ah, I'll put twenty-five knicker, please
On Yellow Printer
Oh, I hope the wife don't find out
Yes, it's sure to win, isn't it?
Yes, I know, it's a good dog
I saw it run at White City, just last week
Broke the record, Yellow Printer
Nice dog, yes, lovely form
Lovely buttocks..."