Here's a story about a boy named Jerry:
Got slaughtered then got real leery
In the pub he acted absurd
Then came home to a boxer's bird
So he got knocked out
Faced swelled up like a rainbow trout
His girl found out the truth
But he couldn't explain 'cause he'd lost a tooth!

Here's a story about a chap named Garf:
Drank four pints in a hour 'n' a half
Though the night had just begun
Because his local pub's open 'till one
The next morning out in the country
Hung over and on a hunt he
Was still drunk and he pissed himself;
Fell off his horse and shot himself!

Our liquid lives! (x7)
This is how we all survive!

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x2)

Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!

Spinning! My head is spinning
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning
Oh, my body's burning
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x3)
Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink, drink!
Smoke, smoke!
Fuck, fuck!
Fight, fight!
(x2)