[Hook]
You’ve got a pretty hairdo and fancy pants
Better take advantage of your chance to dance
Look around the room for a Dapper Dan
Grind it out now
And tell your big girlfriend to clap her hands
If she’s unfit then unhitch the camper van
We’ll show you where it’s at like an ampersand
Grind it out now
[Verse 1: Dumbfoundead]
To the big girls with footmeat sticking out they pumps
Changing they whole wardrobe straight out they trunk
Dancing the night away
Perspiring with a powerful funk
And intimidate the wallflower
Cowardly punks
She’s the leader of the conga line
Conductor of the Soul Train
And works the shit out a stripper pole
Likes to roleplay
The whole place looking at her like it’s her showcase
Let’s go back to your place
I’ll show you my O face
Watch her grind out
Drinking that Amy Wine-house
This ain’t no white blouse
One-Fifty-One Death Proof
Grindhouse
Soon as she set two lines out
In the restroom I bounced
Girl you being bad now
It might get you time out
[Hook]
You’ve got a pretty hairdo and fancy pants
Better take advantage of your chance to dance
Look around the room for a Dapper Dan
Grind it out now
And tell your big girlfriend to clap her hands
If she’s unfit then unhitch the camper van
We’ll show you where it’s at like an ampersand
Grind it out now
[Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle]
This is the most important rap I ever wrote
Cause it’ll make women on NordicTracks and Depakote
Cast away their assorted hats and leather coats
Manifest their inner-porno actress to whatever folks in the room
We hold in so our souls’ been consumed
Ever since we broken through the womb
We’re told to control our inner urges to commune
And keep the appearance cold as the surface of the moon
You should howl and swoon
Yell loud and croon
Or growl
You don’t need a costume or a cowl
Just a towel to wipe the sex sweat from your brow
And after this scene maybe a new evening gown
[Hook]
You’ve got a pretty hairdo and fancy pants
Better take advantage of your chance to dance
Look around the room for a Dapper Dan
Grind it out now
And tell your big girlfriend to clap her hands
If she’s unfit then unhitch the camper van
We’ll show you where it’s at like an ampersand
Grind it out now
[Verse 3: Psychosiz]
What’s all the Locomotion
The Joker broke in
Shimmied it and Twisted ‘til it opened
Cranked that
Then he Electric Slid
So we thought we’d call you
It’s best you did
They call me Bruce Wayne
Cause I Mack the poosi
Like Desi when he’s slapping Lucy
You could Superman a ho
But to catch a true thief
This looks like a job for the Bat Watusi
Get low
I’m fistna’ Rick Roll to his hideout
Lean With It Rock With It
Dip in and slide out
Uh-oh
The Jerk tried to do the Hustle
Threw a rubber Chicken Dance at me
Then he Shuffled
Did the Running Man
But I caught up again
No more Hokey Pokey
I’m taking in you in
As for your life of crime
You’re all out of time
You last chance to Bat Dance
Form a Conga line
[Hook]
You’ve got a pretty hairdo and fancy pants
Better take advantage of your chance to dance
Look around the room for a Dapper Dan
Grind it out now
And tell your big girlfriend to clap her hands
If she’s unfit then unhitch the camper van
We’ll show you where it’s at like an ampersand
Grind it out now
[Verse 4: Busdriver]
You want to hit the pussy with your battering ram
So you can lure some girls to your Astrovan
(Fool, get your hand off my mammary gland)
And just Grrrrind it out
You’re seeking action like a Girls Gone Wild cameraman
But dressing like a broke ass Bagger Vance
Even if the pussy smells like rancid ham
You’ll eaaaat it out
[Dumbfoundead]
Call your homegirls on your family plan
Got a spiffy haircut from Fantastic Sams
Make you say my name like I’m Candyman
We can end the night in an ambulance
[Open Mike Eagle]
Standing in the shadows like the Cancer Man
The little philly doesn’t stand half a chance
I can wear a gold medallion and some Hammer pants
Butt-naked sweating is the master plan
[Psychosiz]
Flavor to the game like I’m Van De Kamp
Something new for my dames and fans and fam’
Stylin on ‘em cause I c-c-can
My pimp hand’s like the Mandaran’s