California has heaved itself a thousand times lighter since you left
Yeah right
I know you were barely a buck twenty-five when you were here
The rest is the weight of your stars
The rest is the weight of all the wildflowers you touched that spring we went to the Rincon
We followed them across the tracks, down to the waterline
Fucking each other blind in the sea
The rest is the weight of an empty passenger seat
Six of your hairs on the headrest
Now holding the weight of six gold bars
I still have the yams that you
Picked at the farmers market two weeks ago
I'm thinking of encasing them in separate Lucite blocks
Like deal announcements on a banker's desk
I will store one, op second trade craft say I've already said too much about that one
The other I will take with me in a small custom case
It will go on tour with me, it will never leave my side
Your hand selected Lucite encased yam
Will be my quiet companion
It will be present in hotel rooms on the nightstand or the sink
When I fuck strangers, quietly taking it all in
Neutral and cool like you
But your yam doesn't have a beating heart
It doesn't know my words before I speak them
It will never be my family or my lover
It won't fly with me to New York City and get a sweet at the plaza
And it won't take me to the airport when I go to war
And it won't wait for me at the airport when I come home from the zones for a visit
Your Lucite encased yam won't fire me and forgive me for choosing war over you
The yam you selected at the farmers market two weeks ago won't ever hold me
Press the side of its jaw to mine
Fight the torque threatening to spin me away
And force me to be still
It will never breathe into my mouth
Your yam has better manners then you
It will never ask my female friends to join us in bed
It will never make secret calls
Drive through the night and surprise me
Your yam will be everything you were not
It will be well behaved, it will reject yoga
It will be tacit
It will never find a metal on a state line or border
And stop to fuck in two places at once
It won't show up at my house after disappearing for a year and not talking
Climb into bed for three days
It will never slap my shit uncle for being a jerk
It will never ask to sleep on top of me
It will forgive me my work in the warzones
It will witness me x2
You're gone
In a moment of light
In a swirl of big pharma
In a daffy patch of ignorance, pain and love

And I will continue to gain out every other possible outcome
I don't know how to stop
I will continue
To drag this river of memory
Looking for your body