[Intro]
At the show and no one’s moving
The crowd is dead, but I’ll keep swinging
They're unprepared and no one's looking
So when they least expect it, kick someone in the teeth!

[Verse 1]
I know I don’t have spatial awareness
But I express myself regardless of the consequences

[Pre-Chorus]
Head to the pit, start some beef
I’m pretty sure a kid's foot grazed my knee
I realize it was an accident
But now his life is gonna end

[Chorus]
Kick me out of the venue, and I’ll find my way back in
I'm that douche bag!
I don’t care if you’re bleeding, you messed up, say sorry
I'm that douche bag! Sue me! Blegh!

[Verse 2]
Stage dive with my feet first, kick while I crowd surf
I hope that the people holding me know that it’s my turf
[Pre-Chorus]
I think you should know that I don’t have a soul
Hurting all you people was my only goal
Right before the best part of the song
I’m gonna steal the mic and sing all of the notes wrong
Sing them wrong! Yeah!

[Chorus]
Kick me out of the venue, and I’ll find my way back in
I'm that douche bag!
I don’t care if you’re bleeding, you messed up, say sorry
I'm that douche bag! I'm that douche bag! I'm that douche bag!

[Bridge]
Hey there, I noticed that you looked at me funny
You’ve made a huge mistake, you better start running
Don’t say that I’m just a troublesome bully
I don’t think you know the first thing about me
So what if I’m bad at math, and my dad doesn’t seem to like me?
I might be a little insecure, possibly a little immature, but I
Have to prove myself, now is my time to shine, you think the fun
Belongs to everyone, but I can’t have fun unless I break your spine!

[Outro: Dave Stephens]
Punch a 14-year-old girl!
Throw her into a merch table!
Did you guys see how strong I am?
She’ll be sleeping in the hospital!
I’m that douche bag! Douche bag!
Kill an old lady on the bus ride home!