[Intro]
Go!

[Verse 1]
Let me tell you ‘bout all of my problems
They don’t seem to go
And I can’t fathom conditions that are
Worse than my own
That’s not what I want, that’s not what I asked for
Next time I speak up, you better get it to me faster
I want a world where I have
Full control

[Pre-Chorus]
Mild inconveniences are killing me
It won’t be long before they’ve ruined my day

[Chorus]
I’m getting no internet, don’t want to get out of bed
I dropped my iPhone, now there’s a crack in the screen
I’m a first world tragedy, it’s not okay
My parent’s credit card got taken away

[Verse 2]
There’s nothing on Netflix that
I haven’t seen
And I can’t reach the remote, it’s too far
Away from me
Buffering slow, in 720p
That’s not full HD, this isn’t funny
Why can’t my Smart TV just
Do what it’s told?
[Pre-Chorus]
Mild inconveniences are killing me
This Warped Tour lineup is complete garbage
It wouldn’t hurt to book some better bands

[Chorus]
I’m getting no internet, don’t want to get out of bed
I dropped my iPhone, now there’s a crack in the screen
I’m a first world tragedy, it’s not okay
My parent’s credit card got taken away

[Post-Chorus]
Got taken away...
They took it away...
It’s getting way too hot, ditch the jacket I just bought
Now I’m freezing my own balls off, my dark blue balls
It’s getting way too hot, ditch the jacket I just bought
Now I’m freezing my own balls off, my navy blue, indigo balls

[Bridge]
I know I’m a straight white male
That doesn’t mean I’m not stuck in hell
America is the place to be
Unless you live near poverty
I know I’m a straight white male (I got mud on my shoes...)
That doesn’t mean I’m not stuck in hell (My brand new shoes...)
America is the place to be (I got mud on my shoes...)
Unless you live near poverty (My brand new shoes...)
I know I’m a straight white male (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
That doesn’t mean I’m not stuck in hell (My brand new shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
America is the place to be (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
Unless you live near poverty (My brand new shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
I know I’m a straight white male (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(Too many voices!)
That doesn’t mean I’m not stuck in hell (My brand new shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(Too many voices!)
America is the place to be (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(Too many voices!)
Unless you live near poverty... (My brand new shoes...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys...)
(Too many voices...)
Go!
[Chorus]
I’m getting no internet, don’t want to get out of bed
I dropped my iPhone, now there’s a crack in the screen
I’m a first world tragedy, it’s not okay
My parent’s credit card got taken away

[Outro]
I’m a first world tragedy (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(My brand new shoes...) (Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
I’m a first world tragedy (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(My brand new shoes...) (Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
I’m a first world tragedy (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
(My brand new shoes...) (Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
I’m a first world tragedy (I got mud on my shoes...)
(Too many voices...)
(Can’t find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?)
It's not okay...