Performed by: Bob Guy

-Oh, what have we here? Oh! A letter! It smells...
Oh, how wonderful! I just love letters that are
Perfumed. Oh! Lovely! Lovely stench! Essence
Of wolfbane! Oh, Let me open it!...

"Dear Jeepers, it was so nice of you to attend
My party at the castle last week. You and Doris
Make such a lovely couple. I'm also very glad to
Have seen Igor, Boris, and Sally Snake, and
Funkin the Rat. It was so much fun when we all
Played 'Pin the Tail on the Werewolf, ' Oh yes!
And 'Electrical Chairs. ' When everybody sat
Down, Oh! Two million volts! Ha-ha-ha.! Oh
Such fun! "

Uh... Doris, squeeze me a glass of mildew...
And to continue now...

"Although the party was supposed to be rot
Luck, it turned out to be pot luck. It was still
Lovely of you to bring along that 'Leg of Lepre-
Chaun au Gratin. ' Desdemona wants the recipe
Well, I'm... I'm rather exhausted, so I... I must
Close now. The sun is coming up and I must
Return to the crypt
Sincerely, Count Dracula
Oh, P/S. Here's a riddle:
Where there's a will, what's the way? "

Ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha