FZ: The cowbell as a symbol of unbridled passion, ladies and gentlemen

FZ: Now, as you might have noticed, Bruce Fowler has just completed some sort of trombone solo, based on the, uh, idea of an evolved tango-event. Bruce has also prepared for you a demonstration of a dance that he hopes will sweep the ocean, right after the Mud Shark did. Bruce is now warming up the important muscles of the body, in preparation.. in preparation for the Real Live Bе-Bop Tango which we're gonna demonstratе. Napoleon will assist him

Napoleon: Wait a minute now

FZ: Napoleon, just put your horn down, just relax, put your head back, here comes the drill. Okay, ha ha ha, you know what I'm talkin' about? Okay, heyy. This is sort of like jazz in it's own peculiar way ...
Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny. Okay, let's go!

George: Yeah, man, jazz, man, you know what I mean?
This is Be-Bop, even though you think it doesn't sound like that
(Be-Bop..! That's no Be-Bop!)

FZ: Now, as you might have noticed, some of you with a musical education can tell that the notes that George just sang when he went: "This is Be-Bop, even though you think it doesn't sound like that," it's actually a sort of a twisted form of the theme of the tango itself which will get de ... even more depraved as the number goes on. George will now attempt to dismember that melody, play it and sing it at the same time while
George: Pe-dop!
FZ: Hey, that's the way ... while we sort of dance to it, okay? Try it, George
George: (Scatting)
FZ: What do ya think about that, Napoleon?
Napoleon(?): OH, YEAAAAH
George: As I was saying
FZ: Now, what we'd like to do at this point is get some volunteers from the audience to.. I know you will, oh God, you will.. We need some, hehhehheh, Now, as a matter of fact you did, didn't you.. No, we wanna have some people who've never tried it before, who've never even thought of trying it before. A boy, a girl, preferably who like each other, who would like to come up here and attempt to dance to what George sings

George: Pe-dop
FZ: Do we have anybody who is..? You're one. Okay, what's your name? Your name is Carl? Please, Carl, step on to the stage. Pleased to meet you, Carl
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Alright, ok. Let's see, uh, is there anybody in the, in the back?
George: Pe-dop
FZ: Well, oh-oh, hey! What's your name?
FZ: Well, wait a minute, we've already selected a male customer! Alright, you can stay, it's ok! You can stay! We don't wanna turn anyone away, what are your names?
Rick: Rick
FZ: Rick, and?
Jane: Jane
FZ: Jane... RICK and JANE and CARL. Alright, here's how it works: There's a beat going on like this, that's a pedestrian beat. You can forgeba- You can forget about that beat, because that beat is only for reference. You don't dance to that beat, you dance to what George sings
George: Pe-dop
FZ: Okay? The little ones, okay? The little quick ones, okay? Ready? George, make them dance!
George: Dup
FZ: No, no, Rick, you're too reserved. Ready? Give it to 'em George!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: No
George: (Scatting)
FZ: No, no, come on now, loosen up! Listen, encourage them! When it, when.. Ah! Okay! Alright, one more time, dance!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Let's study this phenomenon
George: (Scatting)

FZ: Now look, Rick and Jane and Carl, you, you're wonderful but you're just too reserved (I still can, Frank!)
FZ: I know you will, maybe in a minute. Okay, I'll t-tell you what: Go back to your seats and we'll bring up the next batch, ok? Carl, Rick and Jane! Ok, um, let's see. Yeah we'll try you again, c'mere. The what? Ohh, you don't know? Hehe, alright, you wanna try
Lana: I'll do anything you say Frank
FZ: OH MY GOD. Alright, your name is Lana, right? Lana, dance!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Now, that's more like it!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Can you get those glasses out of the way?
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Lana, you're so good, we have to bring up some other people to assist you. Brenda, imported from Edwards air-force base, where she- ladies and gentlemen, Brenda, Brenda is a professional harlot! And she just got finished stripping for a bunch of guys at Edwards air-force base, 'n she made it down here in time for the show. Two hours of taking it off for the boys in the corps, really good. Ok, heh- Brenda, Brenda has a lovely assistant named Carl, or Robert James Davis if you prefer! Herb Cohen, ladies and gentlemen! Ok, dance!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: You're still too adagio, I keep telling you!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Turn on the bubble machine!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: God, is that a cheap bubble-machine! Now, what?
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Ladies and gentlemen, DUNT'S EX-WIFE!

FZ: Ladies and gentlemen, you're probably sitting in your chairs, saying to yourselves: "I could do that!" And of course you can! And now is your big chance. All you have to do, first step is easy, all you gotta do is stand up. Go ahead, just stand up. There you go, you are standing up. Yes, some of you are not standing up, but you won't have as much fun as the ones who are standing up. Ok, turn on the big lights so everybody can see what's going on. Yes, very many of you are standing up. Ok, get into the groove of it all. Now, link your mind, with the mind of George Duke!

George: (Scatting)
FZ: And when.. That's it! When he plays those funny fast little notes, twitch around and have a good time with the Be-Bop Tango, let's try it!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: It's no good just to stand there and clap your hands, that's too pedestrian! Twitch around, spastic out!
George: (Scatting)
FZ: Now, wait a minute! You're not dancing!

[Instrumental, some scatting towards the verse]
Napoleon:
Anything you wanna do
Is alright
Alright
Anything you wanna do
Is alright
Is alright
You came to the right place
Tonight
Anything you wanna do
Is alright
Wanna do
Anything you wanna do
Is alright
Yes, there, guys, you know you came to the right place
Tonight
Gimme some of that wine now
Woowowoahhwowwowowowoowwoowoowwow
[Guitar solo, instrumental]

FZ: Alright, now look here! As you might have guessed, ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of our concert. We'd like to thank you ver- like to thank you very much for coming, hope you had a good time!
Bruce Fowler on trombone
Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals
Ruth Underwood on percussion
Ralph Humphrey on drums
Chester Thompson on drums
Tom Fowler on bass
And George Duke on the keyboards
Thank you very much!

Napoleon:
Anything you want to do
Tonight, alright
Do anything you wanna do
Tonight, alright
Come to Roxy 'n the right place
Tonight

Napoleon and George:
Alright (Alright)
Alright (Alright)
Alright (Alright)
Alright (Alright)
Alright (Alright)
Alright (Alright)
Alright