[Verse 1]
Well, right about that time, people
A fur-trapper who was strictly from commercial (strictly commercial)
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peek-a-boo)
And he started into whipping on my favorite baby seal
With a lead-filled snowshoe

[Bridge]
I said with a lead (lead)
Filled (lead-filled)
A lead-filled snowshoe (snowshoe)
He said, "Peek-a-boo" (Peek-a-boo!)
With a lead (lead)
Filled (lead-filled)
With a lead-filled snowshoe (snowshoe)
He said, "Peek-a-boo" (Peek-a-boo!)

[Verse 2]
He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went whap!
With a lead-filled snowshoe
And he hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin and he

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be
So I bent down, and I reached down, and I scooped down
And I gathered up a generous mitten-full of the deadly (yellow snow)
The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go!
Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow crystals
And rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion
Hitherto unknown to the people of this area
But destined to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology
Here it goes now, the circular motion: rub It!
(Here Fido, here Fido)
[Verse 4]
And then, n a fit of anger, I, I pounced
And I pounced again
Great googly-moogly!
I jumped up and down on the chest of a...
I injured the fur trapper
Well, he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because
The deadly yellow snow crystals
Had deprived him of his sight
And he stood up
And he looked around, and he said

[Bridge]
"I can't see"
"I can't see"
"Oh, woe is me"
"I can't see"
"Well… no no
I can't see
Nothin'"
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye
And the husky wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee, has blinded me
And I can't see
Temporarily
[Verse 5]
Well, the fur-trapper stood there
With his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland
Trying to figure out what he's going to do about his deflected eyes
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend
Wherein it is written
On whatever it is that they write it on up there
That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook
The only way you can get it fixed up
Is to go trudging across the tundra mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra right down to the parish of St. Alfonzo