[Intro: Central Scrutinizer]
Hello there
This is the Central Scrutinizer
Joe was sent to a special prison
Where they keep all the other criminals
From the music business
You know, the ones who get caught
It's a horrible place painted all green on the inside
Where musicians and former executives take turns
Snorting detergent and plooking each other
Anyway, listen, while he's in there he meets this guy
Who used to be a promo man for a major record company
Named Bald-Headed John... King of the Plookers

[Verse 1: Father Riley B. Jones & Former Execs]
This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John
Dong work for Yuda, dong, dong
He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong
Dong work for Yuda, dong, dong

[Refrain: Father Riley B. Jones & Former Execs]
He said Dong was Wong 'n Wong was Kong
'N dong work for Yuda, John was wrong
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Dong work for Yuda, dong, dong
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
He said Dong was Wong 'n Wong was Kong
And Dong was Gong 'n John was wrong
[Verse 2: Father Riley B. Jones & Former Execs]
John's got a sausage, yeah man
John's got a sausage, yeah man
John's got a sausage that will make you fart
John's got a sausage that will break your heart
Make you fart and break your heart
Don't bend over if you are smart
He took a little walk to the weenie stand
John's got a sausage, yeah man
A great big weenie in both his hands
John's got a sausage, yeah man
He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt
He said, "Ya'll stand back cause you might get hurt"

[Refrain: Former Execs]
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
John's got a sausage, yeah man
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
He said Dong was Wong, Wong was Kong
Dong was Gong 'n John was wrong

[Verse 3: Bald-Headed John & Former Execs]
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Make way for the iron shaschige
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Bartender, bring me a colada and milk
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
On second thought, make that a water, HtO
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Falcum, take me to the falcum!
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
I wave my bags, did you wave your'n
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Well how much did they wave?
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Ah'm almost two kilometers tall
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
This girl must be praketing richcraft
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Don't worry about the faggot, I'll take care of the faggot
Sorry John, sorry, better try it again
Try it again, try it again
Try, try, try again
And again, and again
Try, try, try again
[Bridge: Bald-Headed John]
Your Pomona is very extinct
Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo
'N also with the oriental Kato
My body contain uh water
I just loves the way these Copenhagens talks!
Driver, McDoodle, sausage
Salima, salami
That looks like that stuff Freckles lets out
Once a mumfth

[Outro: Central Scrutinizer]
This is the Central Scrutinizer
Poor Joe
He's getting tired from bending over...
...but we tried to warn him... didn't we?
Okay, Joe, you asked for it... here comes the big one!