[Lyric Note 1]
Joe clutches the hood ornament of an ancient car

[Verse 1: Joe]
Maybe you thought I was the Packard Goose
(ren-denen-den-eh)
Or the Ronald MacDonald of the nouveau-abstruse
Well fuck all them people, I don't need no excuse
For being what I am
Do you hear me, then?

[Verse 2: Joe]
All them rock 'n roll writers is the worst kind of sleaze
(ren-denen-den-eh)
Selling punk like some new kind of English disease
Is that the wave of the future?
Aw, spare me please!

[Verse 3: Joe]
Oh no, you gotta go
Who do you write for?
I wanna know
I believe you is the government's whore
And keeping peoples dumb
(I'm really dumb)
Is where you're coming from
And keeping peoples dumb
(I'm really dumb)
Is where you're coming from
[Verse 4: Joe]
Fuck all them writers with the pen in their hand
(ren-denen-den-eh)
I will be more specific so they might understand
They can all kiss my ass but because it's so grand
They best just stay away
Hey, hey, hey

[Verse 5: Joe]
Hey, Joe, who did you blow?
Moe pushed the button boy
And you went to the show
Better suck a little harder or the shekels won't flow
And I don't mean your thumb
(Don't mean your thumb)
So on your knees you bum
Just tell yourself it's yum
(Yourself it's yum)
And suck it till you're numb

[Bridge: Joe]
Journalism's kinda scary
And of it we should be wary
Wonder what became of Mary?

[Lyric Note 2]
And no sooner has he wondered, a vision of Mary appears to him, delivering a little lecture...
[Bridge: Voice Of Mary]
Hi! It's me, the girl from the bus
Remember?
The last tour?
Well
Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is the best!
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis (which is extinct)
Beauty is a French phonetic corruption
Of a short cloth neck ornament
Currently in resurgence

[Lyric Note 3]
And no sooner has she spoken (which is awkward and probably incorrect but what the fuck), enormous flabby short cloth neck ornament obscure the horizon in a multitude, beating their ugly wings and working their hidden chrome snap attachments as they resurge in the direction of the White Zone seeking snack material near the Utensil Shrines of Greater America...

[Instrumental]

[Verse 6: Joe]
If you're in the audience and like what we do
(ren-denen-den-eh)
Well, we want you to know that we like you all too
But as for the sucker who will write the review
If his mind is prehensile
(Mind is prehensile)
He'll put down his pencil
(Put down his pencil)
And have himself a squat
On the Cosmic Utensil
(Cosmic Utensil)
Give it all you got
On the Cosmic Utensil
(Cosmic Utensil)
Sit 'n spin until you rot
On the Cosmic Utensil
(Cosmic Utensil)
He really needs to squat
On the Cosmic Utensil
(Cosmic Utensil)
(Cosmic Utensil)
[Outro: Joe]
Now that I got that over with
I'll just play my imaginary guitar again
Hey, hah, soundin' pretty good there, me!
Ah, get down, uh!
Boy, what an imagination!
Love myself better than I love myself
I think
What tone!
Sounds like an Elegant Gypsy!
What is that?
Musk?
It's hip!