[Intro: Central Scrutinizer]
This is the Central Scrutinizer
As you can see, music can get you pretty fucked up
Take a tip from Joe, do like he did
Hock your imaginary guitar and get a good job
Joe did, and he's a happy guy now
On the day shift at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen
Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
Of a fully-charged icing anointment utensil
And every time a nice little muffin comes by on the belt
He poots forth
And if this doesn't convince you that music causes big trouble
Then maybe I should turn off my plastic megaphone
And sing the last song on the album in my regular voice

[Refrain]
A-hem! Heh heh
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
With a green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A tiny green rosetta
A green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A tiny green rosetta
You'll make a muffin really betta
It's betta
It's really getting betta
It's betta, it's betta
With a green rosetta
Setta, setta
And a green rositti, too
Green rositti
A little green rositti
It's really, really meaty
The little green rositti
Make a muffin really betta
It's betta
(Hey, really out there . . . that was really good)
It's really getting betta
It's betta, it's betta
With a green rosetta
Setta, setta
(Good God, give the drummer some)
Green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
(Setta, setta, setta
Setta, setta, setta
Setta, setta, setta, setta, setta . . .)
(Make a muffin, make a muffin, make a muffin)
Betta
(Make a muffin betta, make a muffin betta)
With a green rosetta
(Make a muffin betta, make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
(You'll make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta
(With a green rosetta)
A little green rosetta
(You'll make a muffin betta)
A little green rosetta
Good God! You're really jammin'!
Now the Reggae version, hey
For the People in the Third World
We haven't forgotten anybody on this song
For all of you French people
Who think that you're outta sight
And for the people in Spain
Who think the French people are where it's at
And for the people in Mongolia
Who always wanted to go to Spain for a vacation
And for those of you in Taiwan
Who got chumped
This chorus is for you
(Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman
Take eight)
A green rosetta
(A green rosetta
Green rosetta
A little green rosetta)
A green rosetta
(Against the Reggae beat, though
No, it's still Reggae, but it's all backwards, okay)
A green rosetta
(A little green rosetta)
A green rosetta
(A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta)
You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
You'll make a muffin betta
Little green rosetta
Little green rosetta
Little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
Now you see, some places in the Third World
It might be difficult to dance to this
Because the kerosene record player
Is not a very efficient device
And a lot of times they run out of
They run out of spunk right in the middle of the chorus
Causing the song to sound like this
A little green rosetta.......................
However we continue in spite of the fact
That the fuel may be low on your record player
We suggest that in places in the Fourth World
Where things are really tough
That you keep the record player going
By rubbing two sticks together
And if all else fails, throw the record away
Build your own green rosetta
Try this recipe:
We'll start with a lump of grass
The grass bone connected to the ankle bone
The knee bone connected to the wishbone
And then everybody moves to New York
And goes to a party with Warren. Hey!
And we've flown in, at great expense
(triple scale, no less, ladies and gentlemen)
Steve Gadd's clone
To play the out-chorus on this song
He's really outasite, in spite of the fact
That the click track is totally irrelevant
To what he's doing right now
I'm listening to the click
Yes I'm suffering with the click track right now
This guy is totally out of sync with it, but what the fuck
Ed Mann will call him up later, show him the sign. Okay, Vinnie, where is five?
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
(The singer's not too good but
The musicians they're pretty good)
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
They're pretty good musicians
But it don't make no difference
If they're good musicians
Because anybody who would buy this record
Doesn't give a fuck if there's good musicians
On it
Because this is a stupid song
AND THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
A little green rosetta
Hey! A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
A little green rosetta
You make a muffin betta
With a green rosetta
A little green rosetta
Rosetta, rosetta, rosetta
Rosetta . . . rosetta
Zetta!