The Mystery Man came over
An' he said: "I'm outa sight!"
He said, for a nominal service charge
I could reach Nirvana t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said
Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris anyhow?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of High Asuva
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
"You might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure that ring of fire for you too!"
An' I said
Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a guru are you anyway?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on me
I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' ram it up yer snout
"BUT I GOT A RING OF FIRE!," he said
An' held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to wipe it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An' told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' his pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around
I said
"The price of meat has just gone up
An' yer ring of fire have just gone down . . . "
Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now exactly what kind of ring of fire are we talking about here tonight?)
Don't you know
You could get better results with Anusalve
So don't you waste your time on me
(Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me . . .)
Ohm ani, ohm ani, ohm Anusalve