Frank Zappa
The Rewards Of A Career In Music
Bunk:

I'd like to tell you about the first time I went down to take some piano lessons from the lady on the corner—her name was Elmira Snodgrass. That was really her name

I was seven years old and my mother took me down, introduced me. She got her little book of stars out, you know, you get a BLUE STAR if you play your lesson with no mistakes. And she— Oh, she was really into it

So the first week I went down there, uh, it really didn't mean so much to me but I thought her name was so funny that I had to keep commenting on it

And uh, she said uh, "Johnny, you're gonna have to straighten up a little there if we're gonna get along." So uh, I think I got a Red Elephant that week. I didn't do too well

So uh, I straightened up next week and uh—I forget what the tune was, but I tore it up. No mistakes at all. But uh, my posture was very poor. I had very poor posture so, uh, that week I got uh—I think it was a Blue Horse. And uh, she said I was doing much better

Nice! So by the time the third week—I had started to practice by then, I was getting serious and I . .

Roy:

Buns

Bunk:

I went back for my lesson and she said, uh, "I hope you get a Blue Star this weekend, Johnny." So I played my lesson and uh, I got my Blue Star and uh, she said, "You'll have to do better than that when [...]."

Roy:

I always wondered what made you sleepy. I thought it was buns. [...] I don't know. Hamburgers, cheese. Buns. I think it's probably the buns. I thought it was the cheese at one time, I don't know. Weasely cheese. Could have been the pickles or something—buns. It had to be the buns
Bunk:

She said, "[...]." So I started bringing in four books

Motorhead:

So I said [...]

Roy:

Buns! Round buns, long buns. I don't know, hot dog buns, or something. It must have been [...]. No, it had to be the buns, I guess. I don't know. It could be the mustard. But then again . .

Bunk: And she said, "John, I don't think there's any more that I can teach you." So I started taking lessons from her son, whose name was Freddie Snodgrass. [...] He's a pretty good piano player, by the way. [...]

Motorhead:

[...]

Roy:

Buns! That's all I can see. BUNS! BUNS! [...]

Bunk:

I'd like to play jazz. You couldn't get very serious. I told her I wanted to play jazz. So she said, "Take that jazz and stick it under a rock!" So I had to forget about jazz. [...] So I jumped into the classics. My first tune was, uh, Beethoven's . .