Frank Zappa
Secret Greasing
Les Carter: . . . some of the great sounds from out of the past. It's time actually for an unofficial commercial. And, um, this is a commercial for an album called Ruben & The Jets . .
FZ: It's a secret greasing
Les Carter: It's a secret greasing?
FZ: Yeah
Les Carter: And this commercial has not been paid for—which, I might add, violates all the rules of the Federal Communications Commission
FZ: That's it, stick it to 'em. Tell 'em how avant-garde you are! . . . the music can start?
Les Carter: It's on already
FZ: Oh, I can't hear it. Can I hear it while I'm doing this?
Les Carter: No way for you to hear it, Frank, you just have to . .
FZ: Oh, start it again, I wanna make it perfect
Les Carter: Okay
FZ: Well. At least get close to it
Les Carter: Okay, we're gonna start that again
FZ: Here we go. This is our greasing
Les Carter: Okay, I think it's about ready to start, Frank, if you're ready
FZ:
RUBEN SANO was 19 when he quit the group to work on his car. He had just saved up enough money to buy a 53 Nash and four gallons of gray primer. His girl friend said she would leave him forever if he didn't quit playing in the band and fix up his car so they could go to the drive-in and make out. There was already 11 other guys in the band so when he quit nobody missed him except for his car when they had to go to rehearsal or play for a battle of the bands at the American Legion Post in Chino. They are all still good friends even today. The other main guys in the band: NATCHO, LOUIE, PANA & CHUY still come over to RUBEN'S house on Tuesday or Wednesday to listen to his collection of Richie Valens records & also "Eddie My Love". Generally speaking, they save "Cherry Pie" & "Work With Me Annie" till the late part of the evening so they can have something to hum on the way home or to Burger Lane. Some of them continue to hum & pop their fingers even the next day, working in the car wash. Now that they have gotten their big break in show business each one of the main guys in the group voted at the band meeting to keep the name RUBEN on the JETS not only because it sounds real fine & gives it class, but also because it makes it real sharp. RUBEN even likes it too & thinks it is real sharp. All the guys in the band hope that you are sick & tired like they are of all this crazy far out music some of the bands of today are playing. They hope you are so sick & tired of it that you are ready for their real sharp style of music. They are good socially acceptable young men who only want to sing about their girl friends. They want everybody to start dancing close back together again like 1955 because they know that people need to love & also want to hold on to each other. Even holding hands is okay to them. They want you to hold hands and dance the bop & fall in love to their music. One of the main guys in the band was telling me a couple of weeks ago when we were talking about how about only half the guys in the band ever show up at rehearsals most of the time . . . "IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST HEAR MY PLEA I WOULD GIVE EVERYTHING JUST TO SING THE SONGS THAT WAS TURNING ME ON IN HIGH SCHOOL."
RUBEN HAS 3 DOGS
BENNY, BABY & MARTHA