Frank Zappa
Thou Shalt Honor Thy Father And Thy Mother
FZ:
Well, I'll give you the best example of why such a panel is a pure fiction and a pure fantasy. You ever heard of the Grammys? Do you know anything about NARAS? Have you ever heard of the NARAS credo? That's that little— I saw one one time. The one that I saw was written by Stan Freberg. Okay? We were the entertainment at the Grammys in 1967 or '68 in New York. I saw this piece of paper and it said in part that, "These selections are made on artistic merit alone and have nothing to do with unit sales." Right? Sure.
NARAS does not listen to 25,000 individual 4 minute songs every year in order to pick somebody who gets a Grammy. It's obviously fake, okay? Now, how do they expect that somebody is going to, in good conscience, listen to that volume of music. Now, you can't listen just once (YEAH!), you have to listen carefully to make sure you haven't missed anything. You know, it's gonna take more than 4 minutes a song to do this, to listen to the entire output of the United States record business per year (YEAH!). This is a joke. Who's gonna pay for this?
Obviously the PMRC answer would be, "There are plenty of volunteers in Lynchburg, Virginia. They'll sit there and listen to it all day and all night. In fact, they've already got the little Xs made up, they're ready to pump 'em out." Because, as you know, the major industry in Lynchburg right now is not the Moral Majority. It's the Fleet Enema Corporation, and you need to have some other kind of business there to boost the local GNP. That's true! That's the biggest employer in Lynchburg (RRAWRRR).
Well, I think that there's a reason why the Fleet Enema Company located its factory right next to Falwell's church (RAWRRRR). Or maybe it's vice versa: maybe there's a reason why Jerry located his church right next to the Fleet Enema Corporation. Maybe there's a fund raising balance between them. Maybe they have something that those— They each have something that the other needs for their work