The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women . .
He'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois . . . he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
He's got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
Some day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And then the judge would have him for a special guest
And then the D.A. will order a secret test
Stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And then the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
They'll drag in the bandit for all to see
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy . .
HOT SOAPY WATER in the THIRD DEGREE!"
And the Bandit might say . . . (Ha ha!)

DID YOU CAUSE (What is it, Ray?) THIS MISERY?
(You see a good one down there?)
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Well, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"

BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
TELL ME, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"

BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
TELL ME, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
You know what he said?
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
(I believe that)
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
"It must be just what they all need . . . "
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice

The Illinois
The Illinois
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout Potato Headed Bobby
Talkin' 'bout the Illinois
Illinois
Enema Bandit
Juice

FZ: Alright!