Frank Zappa
Big Leg Emma [The Ark]
(Ya-da- dadee. Oh-wo-wo, wo-wo)

FZ: Alright. (quack) We have a marvelous treat for you. Jimmy Carl Black, The Indian Of The Group, is going to sing his all-time favorite, "There's A Big Dilemma About My Big Leg Emma." And I might also add that uh, the whole grotesque event this evening is being recorded for posterity by Steven Waldman, who's lurking in the background there. And it's all being pumped through the PA system and through these three spectacularly placed microphones in the front so we get a realistic recording of exactly what we sound like in The Ark. (Alright?) Some MOI: Go ahead. Let 'er rip

There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She knock-a me out
Until her face broke out, uh-huh

There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She was my steady date
Until she put on weight, uh-huh

Ohhhhh, Emma!
Ohhhhh, Emma!

Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma-ma-ma
Ma-ma my Emma
(SOCK IT TO ME NOW!)

There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
There's a big dilemma
About my Big Leg Emma, uh-huh, oh yeah
She was my steady date
Until she put on weight, uh-huh

FZ: Alright. Let's get realistic now. You know and I know that the function of that number was just to provide some sort of warm-up trash before we do something HEAVY. Something a little bit harder to listen to, but which is probably better for you in the LONG RUN. The item in this instance, which will be better for you in the LONG RUN, and if we only had a little more space up here we could make it visual for you, is "Some Ballet Music," which we've played at most of our concert series in Europe. Generally in halls where we had a little bit more space and Motorhead and Kansas could actually fling themselves across the stage, and give you their teenage interpretation of the art of The Ballet. I don't think it's too safe to do it here, maybe they can just hug each other a little bit and do some calisthenics in the middle of the stage