This is a song about vegetables
They keep your regular
They're real good for you

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
Call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Hey heyeyey the vegetable will respond to you
Oo oo, La la la laaa
The vegetable will respond to you
Oo oo, La la la laaa

Call any vegetable
Pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable
Lonely at home
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Hey heyeyey the vegetable will respond to you
Oo oo, La la la laaa
The vegetable will respond to you
Oo oo, La la la laaa
Roota-bay-ay-ayga
Roota-bay-ay-ayga
Roota-bay-y-y-y . .
No one will know
If you don’t want to let 'em know
No one will know
'Less it’s you that might tell 'em so
Call and they'll come to you
Smilin' and covered with dew
Vegetables dream, vegetables dream
Of responding to you
Standing there shiny
And proud by your side
Holding your joint
While the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable
Something to hide?
To hide, to hide, to hide

Shoob shoob
Shoob shoob
[continues]

You know, lotsa people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom
They think: What can I say?
What can a person such as myself say unto a vegetable?
Let's think of some of the things
That you could say to a Vegetable
The first thing that comes to my mind is:
I've got a picture of you on my bathroom wall
Sitting on the toilet
Another thing that you might be able to say, would be:
"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this."
Do you like my new car?
It’s real cool
Which Holliday Inn are you staying at?
The one by the airport?
We got to get up real early in the morning
And fly out of here
Where you playing tomorrow
Tierra Del Fuego
Or you could say: Muffins . . . Yeahhhh
Pumpkins . . . Yeahhhh
Wax paper . . . Yeahhhh
Caledonias, Mahoganies & Elbows & Green things in general . .
And soon, a new rapport . . . you and all your new little green and yellow buddies, grooving together . . . Oh no!
Maintaining their coolness together!
Worshipping together in the church of your choice . . . (only in America . . . )
God bless America
Sieg Heil
Sieg Heil
God bless A. .
Call any Vegetable. Call it by name
You gotta call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
WOW! That the vegetable will RESPOND to you!

Oh god Oh God, we’re coming together
What a pumpkin

Hance!