That's right, here we are .
At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake breakfast
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
An' widdled on the bingo cards
In lieu of the latrine

I saw a handsome parish lady
Make her entrance like a queen
Why she was totally chenille
And her old man was a Marine

As she abused a sausage pattie
Pittie pittie pattie
Pittie pittie pattie pootie
An' said: "Why don't you treat me mean?"
Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me
Oooh, pittie!
Oooh, pattie!
Oooh, pootie!
Oooh, pootie pootie!
At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast
(Hah! Good God Get off the bus!)
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
Get on your feet and do the funky Alfonzo

Let's do the funky Alfonzo
Father Vivian O'Blivion
Resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter
For the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary
He forgot to watch the clock
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked
(He stroked it . . . )
The night before, behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked his smaa-aa-aa
(He stroked his smock)
Set him off in such a frenzy
He sang Lock Around The Crock
An' he topped it off with a
An' he topped it off with a
An' he topped it off with a . .
Woo woo woo
Woo woo woo
Woo woo woo
As he stumbled on his cock
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right though his sock

Oh Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me!
Proud of me
Proud of me
Proud of me
He shouted down the block

Dominus vo-bisque'em
Et cum spear a tu-tu, oh!
Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes
Just for Saintly Alfonzo
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town
Good morning your Highness
I brought you your snow-shoe
[2x fade]

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nanook
Na-na-na-na-na-nanook-oh
Nanook
Rubs it
Saint
Al
Al
Fo-fo-fo
Fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-fonzo

Saint Alfonzo really loves it when he rubs it for him
I have seen him rubbin' it
I have seen him rubbin' it
I have, I have a-seen him stroke his weenie
(It was teenie)
Rub it, rub it, rub it, rub it, rub
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
Nanook is rubbin' it, 'n Alfie is lovin' it
Saint Alfonzo, can you hear us praying to you?
Can you fix my Chevy?
Boy, you're really heavy
Here's the church and here's the steeple
Open up and see the people
Some are kneelin', some are standin'
All the money they are handing
To some asshole with a basket
Where it goes we dare not ask it
Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
This here basket, really shoves it
Here's your quarter, here's your dollar
Let's play ring around the collar
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU, FRIEND!
FZ: Vince Colaiuta, Arthur Barrow, Tommy Mars, Ike Willis, Denny Walley, Peter Wolf, Ed Mann. Thank you!