FZ:I think the next number that we're gonna perform should be eh . . . No we played that in the last show, I'm trying to give you a variety. Yeah I know, Louie Louie. Let's do the whole opera

Hey, hut

FZ:Okay, you'll have to imagine, across the front of the stage each one of these microphones represents a motel room. Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen. And each one of these rooms houses a potential pop star on his way to the top, touring across America in the dingy little psychedelic dungeons, working his little fingers to the bone, tryin' to make it big in the nookie circuit. And here we are—this little, uh, underground group in a rancid town and we're preparing to go out on a search for some nubile ginch and we're there the day before the concert and there's none of the groupies in town know that we're there at the motel, see, and so we're preparing to go out to the local nightclub, so we can hustle . . . This is it, we're putting on our English Leather cologne

Howard: . . . thirty days on the fucking road. I don't believe it, man. I can't believe it. Another night at a fucking Holiday Inn, another night. Aynsley ripped off my chick, ripped off Mark's chick, ripped off Frank's chick. I did everything . . . I can't even believe it. I put on a new shirt, I sprayed my pits. I got some stuff here that's supposed to make me really alluring. Tinsel glitter. Danny Hutton puts this on his face all the time. He's seductive. He gets laid. I can't stand it. I think he balls Chuck Negron, but who am I to say? He gets laid. And I don't have nothin'. I can't believe it. What do I I got? Aynsley, down in the bar? I can't stand it. I gotta get laid. This glitter has worked for others, perhaps it will work for me

FZ:Aynsley took the batteries out of my wah-wah pedal for his vibrator

Mark: . . . the next thing you know, man. You just wanna get laid. I mean you wanna— You clean up, you go in, you're a pop star. Man, I can't believe it. If I woulda gone to that hotel, if I woulda gone to that club with Frank, I woulda got recognized and maybe got laid. I haven't gotten laid in twelve days, man. This is unbelievable. I mean I'm a pop star. Frank told me, join this group, you're gonna be a big star. Let me tell you . . . the Turtles five years—it doesn't mean shit, let me tell you. Danny Hutton, Three Dog Night—they are a big group. They are a happening group. They get laid all the time. Tinsel glitter. I'm telling you, Three Dog Night never failed. One. Easy To Be Hard. He is God. Tonight, I am gonna go to that club, and I am gonna go with Frank 'cause they'll recognize me . . . tonight. This glitter has worked for others, perhaps it will work for me

What will this morning, bring me this evening?
What will this morning, bring me this evening?
Some local hot action
Before we are leaving

Go to the club or the bar or wherever the pussy is found
In the town your band been booked to play in
It's always a little bit harder to score
If it's just your first time in a town you never hit before
If you played in it once
And got laid
You've got it made
Ohhwww, got it made
If it's just your first time
Then you know it's no fun to go back to a plastic hotel all alone
So you gotta
Go to the club or the bar
Go to the club or the bar
Go to the club or the bar
Or wherever the pussy is found
A partial list of clubs and bars to go get laid while you're on the road!
"Nobody's"—New York City;
"Paradisio"—Amsterdam, Netherlands;
"Club Voom Voom"—Smatz, Austria; (ah, Smatz in the spring)
"The Navy Club"—San Antonio, Tejas;
"The Whisky à Go-Go"—City of the Angels;
"Max's Kansas City"—New York City