FZ:
What's a girl like you
Doin' in a place like this?
What, do you hang out in hockey rinks? What is it?

Bianca:
Well . .

FZ:
What is it with you?

Bianca:
I left my place after midnight

FZ:
Sure you did

Bianca:
And I came to this hall
Me and my girlfriend came here

FZ:
Me too

Bianca:
Lookin' to ball
FZ:
Well, you came to the right place
This is it
This is the swingin'-est place
In all of Philadelphia

Chorus:
NO SHIT!

Bianca:
How true that is!

FZ:
How true indeed

Bianca:
Me and my girlfriend came here
Looking for the
Hot romance we need

FZ:
Right!

Bianca:
We like to get it on—
Do you like, do you like to get it on, too? Yeah, baby
FZ:
Well now, what did you have in mind?

Bianca:
Well I get off bein' juked
With a baby octopus

FZ:
Yeah!

Bianca:
And spewed upon with creamed corn . .
While my girlfriend digs it
With a Wide Mouth Gatorade bottle

FZ:
Nice

Bianca:
While someone in the background could be screamin', you know what I mean . .

FZ:
Working the wall

Chorus:
CORKS 'N SAFETIES
PIGS 'N DONKEYS
PUNKY MEADOWS
STEVEN TYLER!
FZ:
That gets me so hot
I could scream

Chorus:
PUNKY MEADOWS, STEVEN TYLER!

FZ:
Oh, boy

Chorus:
PUNKY MEADOWS, STEVEN TYLER!

FZ:
You know you and your girlfriend sound really far out and groovy
Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
Yeah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa . .
Magic Fingers in the bed
With a wall-mounted TV screen
([...] on the eleven o'clock news)
Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall
Formica is really keen!

Bianca:
Aw, what kind of girl?

Chorus:
What kind of girl do you think she are?

Bianca:
Aw, what kind of girl?

Chorus:
What kind of girl do you think she are?

Bianca:
I ain't no groupie

Chorus:
Don't call her groupie
That is going too far

Bianca:
Hey, what kind of girl?

Chorus:
She wouldn't ball you
Just because you're a star

Bianca:
No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no

FZ:
Let me tell you the truth, this girl wouldn't let just anybody
Spew on her vital parts, no no!
She wants a guy from a group
With a big hit single in the charts!
Funny I should mention it
Our new single made the charts this week
With a bullet!
With a bullet!
With a bullet!
Just let me readjust my necktie right now
And I will show you how, yes indeed!
A young girl such as you
Might be thrilled and
Overwhelmed by me

Bianca:
What hotel did you say you were staying at?

FZ:
Oh, should I really tell you? I mean
Do you wanna split right away?

Bianca:
Well, uh . . . Not so fast, you silly boy . .

FZ:
Oh, no, no, no, no . .

Bianca:
You see, there's something I have to say . .

Chorus:
She wants a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
She wants a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
She wants a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
She wants a guy from a group who's got a thing in the charts
And if his dick is a monster
If his dick is a monster
If his dick is a monster
They will give him their hearts