She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Way over on the wet side
Of the bed

Just like the mighty Penguin
Flappin' her eight ounce wings

Lord, you know it's all over
If she come atcha on the strut & wrap 'em all around yer head
Flappin' her eight ounce wings, flappinumm

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy

Shake up the pale-dry
Ginger ale

Tremblin' like a Penguin
When the battery fail

Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through a hoopa real fire
With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Howlin' over to some
Antarcticulated moon
In the frostbite nite
With her flaps gone white
Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room

Lord, you know it must be a Penguin bound down
When you hear that terrible screamin' and there ain't no other
Birds around

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Aw, you must be careful
Not to leave her straps
TOO LOOSE

'Cause she just might box yer dog
'Cause she just might box yer dog
An' leave you a dried-up dog biscuit . .

Ruth: The gong!
FZ: Don't be late
Ruth: I can't do it!
FZ: You can do it
Ruth: Ha ha ha ha ha!
FZ: You must do it
Ruth: I will do it
FZ: I know you will. Okay, beginning of "T'Mershi Duween."
Ruth: Wait a minute. I hate— You counted last time
FZ: I know [...]
Ruth: But you still be [...]. Ha ha ha!
FZ: Okay. Who's counting this time?