Mark & Howard:

Fly to New York!

I don't know!

His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
'Cause ETHELL is gone
They keep leading him on
'Cause ETHELL is gone
And THE MOUNTAIN she's on

FZ:

We'll join STUDEBAKER HOCH on the edge of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth. Take it away . .

Howard:

BILLY? I've come to REASON with you! Your GREAT COUNTRY, America, needs you in the Armed Forces! It's all fair and square, your NUMBER came up . . . you can't go on running like this forever

Mark:

ETHELL, she shook her twigs angrily, but STUDEBAKER HOCH, undaunted, UN-ferturbed, continued . .
Howard:

Listen, you (cough cough) . .

Mark, Howard & Jim:

Listen, you COMMUNIST SON-OF-A-BITCH! You better get your ass down there for your fuckin' physical, or I'll see to it that you get used for FILL DIRT in some impending New Jersey MARSH RECLAMATION . . . and your girl-friend here will wind up disguised as a series of brooms, primitive ironing boards (or a DOG HOUSE) . . . get the (cough, cough) . .

Howard:

GET THE PICTURE?

Mark:

Well, BILLY just laughed . .

Jim & Howard:

HO, HO, HO!

Jim:

If they think they're gonna draft ME, they're CRAZY!

FZ:
Unfortunately, because STUDEBAKER HOCH was standing on the edge of BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth, and because BILLY THE MOUNTAIN's mouth was a cliff, and because whenever BILLY THE MOUNTAIN talked and/or laughed his cliff went up and down thirty feet, STUDEBAKER HOCH lost his footing and fell, screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below!

Mark & Howard:

Aaahhhhh . .

Howard:

Oh, I broke my nuts . .

Mark:

Oh! Well, my friend, STUDEBAKER, that should go and show you, and that should show you, and you and you, and you, and each and every one here tonight that . .

Mothers:

A Mountain is something
You don't wanna fuck with
You don't wanna fuck with
Don't fuck around
(Don't fuck around)

Don't fuck with BILLY (No!)
And don't fuck with ETHELL
(You saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies!)
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!
DON'T FUCK AROUND!

With

Biddilly, Biddilly
Biddilly, Biddilly, Biddilly

Mark & Howard:

BIDDILLY
THE
MOUNTIN-INNNNNNN!

FZ:

That's right, you heard right, BIDDILLY THE MOUNTIN-INN

Mark & Howard:

BIDDILLY
THE
MOUNTIN-INNNNNNN!

Howard:

Good night!

FZ:

Thank you very much