FZ: Okay, alright. This is it. Yes, yes, yes. We're here to please. It's "Dinah-Moe Humm" time . . . Alright!

Couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

Stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

Whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation to her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
Still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm

Well, Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm
I got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
You ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
You ain't been to it
Can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
To get myself into it
An' I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care
I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet

I told her . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties in there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
(BUNS UP!)
I was wheelin' an dealin'
(WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!)
She surrender to the feelin'
(SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED)
An' she started in to squealin'
Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
Her sister made a joke
About her mental health
Until Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . .

I said
Kiss my aura . . . Dora . .
It's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
How 'bout you, Fauna?
Do you wanna?

FZ: Alright. Look, will you guys— Will you guys help me sing the song if we go back to the top? Right. Alright, back to the top. Now you gotta sing along this time. Just like a big rock 'n roll show

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can't make me cum
(That's right! Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

FZ: Alright, you get the next verse

Guy From The Audience:
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

FZ: No, wrong words

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

Poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
You know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe . .

Girl From The Audience: Hi
FZ: Hi
Girl From The Audience: . . . kiss you

Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe

Audience Members:
Dinah-Moe!
I said Dinah-Moe!
Dinah-Moe!
Little Dinah-Moe!
[...]

Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe . .

FZ: Alright! Good bye, New York! . . . Thanks for coming to the show