Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya . .

Have gun—will travel, reads the card of a man
A soldier of fortune in a savage land

Mark (Narrator): As we join Paladin and his good friend Hey Boy in a plush San Francisco hotel, we find Hey Boy stimulated and running down the stairs to greed his compatriot in lust and perversion

Jeff (Hey Boy): Hey, Paladin, you've been drinking [...] for two weeks. What you want, pineapple chicken, almond duck, portable Sony tape recorder, barbecue pork, sesame seed pork, [...], whay you want?

Dr. John: Hey, I want some baby to hone my tool and squeeze it [...], brother

Howard (Paladin): No, Hey Boy! You creepy little [...]

Jeff (Hey Boy): What? You call Hey Boy homosexual?

Howard (Paladin): Just reserver a room in this plush San Francisco hotel for me and my . . . sister

Jeff (Hey Boy): Have Paladin commit incest?

Howard (Paladin): You know it, you little turd. And if anybody asks, if anybody asks where I am, tell them this . .

Jeff (Hey Boy): Oh, Paladin, you gesture hypnotically . .

Mark (Narrator): And Paladin does gesture hypnotically as he reaches into his pockets to bring forth a card of lust, danger, romance, and adventure!

Hant tant, hant tant
Hant tant, hant tant
Hant tant tant
Hant tant tant
Peeeeeeee