[Intro]
One, two!

[Chorus]
Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
And that's all it is

[Verse]
A foolish young man
From a middle class family
Started singin' the blues
Cause he thought it was manly
Now he talks like the Kingfish ("Saffiiiee!")
From Amos 'n Andy ("Holy mack'l dere!")
He tells you that chitlins (Chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy
He thinks that he's got
The whole thing down
From the Nivea Lotion
To the Royal Crown
[Chorus]
Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
And that's all it is

[Verse]
A foolish young man
Of the negro persuasion
Devoted his life
To becomе a Caucasian
He stopped eating pork
Hе stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki ("Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
And he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I ain't no n***a no more" (Hey, hey, hey!)

[Verse]
Who is who
(I don't know...)
And what is what
(Somethin' I just don't know...)
And why is this
(Tell me now...)
Appropriot
(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one...)
If you don't like
(Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got
(Appropriot a word is not...)
Drop it in the dirt
(Drop it yeah...)
And let it rot
(I can smell it now...)
Someone else
(Here they come, here they come...)
Will surely come
(I told you they was comin')
'N pick it up
(That's right!)
Cause he wants some
(An' he wants it for free...)
And when one day
(There will come a day...)
You wonder who
(I wonder too...)
You used to was
(Who I was anyway...)
And what you do
(I used to work at the post office...)
You'll scratch your head
(But I don't wanna un-do my 'do...)
'N look around
(Just to see what's goin' on...)
But what you lost
(Can't seem to find it...)
Will not be found
(A Mercedes Benz...)
[Chorus]
Do you know what you are?
(I know...)
You are what you is
(I'm the kinda guy...)
You is what you am
(That ought to be drivin'...)
A cow don't make a ham
(A four-fifty SLC...)
You ain't what you're not
(A big ol' red one...)
So see what you got
(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk, y'all...)
You are what you is
(I'm going down to the links on Saturday mornin'...)
An' that's all it is
(Gimme a five-dollar bill...)

[Outro]
You are what you is
(And an overcoat too...)
And that's all it is
(Where's my waitress? Yeah...)
You are what you is
(Robbie, take me to Greek Town...)
And that's all it is
(I'm harder than your husband; harder than your husband...)
You are what you is
(I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all...)
And that's all it is
(I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the pipe...)
You are what you is
('N work the floor 'n work the wall...)
And that's all it is
(Some more...)