Well well well, now, dis de nasty sucker dat be respondable fo de enwhiffment o de origumal potium. Now in his infinate respondable party personage as de Evil Prince and through de magik o stage-kraft of course, wes about to see what gwine on in his magikal conjurance up of his little cauldrom of doom! Now check it on out now

Somewhere, over there, I can tell
I guess so
Theres the voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacallit
Whoo, do tell!
Who does not wish me well!
His clothes are quite stupid
And also his shoes!
Ain't no bussiness like show business
He's got a big ol duck-mouth!
Who knows how he chews!

He thinks he knows something
About THE GREAT PLAN!
How ULTIMATE BLANDNESS
Must RULE and COMMAND

He knows not a drop
Not a crumb
Not a whit
Of the reason for doing
This criminal shit
And then, if he did
Would it matter a bit?
Not at all!
Because IT IS WRIT:
Our BEIGE-BLANDISH GOD
Tends to CERTIFY IT:

Only the boring and bland shall survive!
Only the lamest of lameness will thrive!
Take it or leave it, you won't be alive
If you are overtly CREATIVE!

Fairies and faggots and queers are
CREATIVE
All the best music on Broadway is
NATIVE

Who will step forward
And end all this trouble?
For beige-blandish citizens
Clutching the rubble
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement
Replaced by a rash
Of CREATIVE confusement!

Soon, my brave Zombies
Youll make your return!
Broadway will glow!
Broadway will burn!
(Along with the remnants of
EVERYTHING NEW)
My HOLY DISEASE will do
Wonders for you!
Those lovely producers
Who paid for you then
Will do it again, and again, and again!
The spying potato
The spying potato
With horrible diction
And terrible diction
Will rot in the garbage
I can smell it right now
When this shows eviction
Takes place shortly after
My alternate skill
Of THEATRICAL SABOTAGE
Triumphs YOUR will!

I've a special review
Yes I know you really do!
I've been saving for years
Yes I know you really have
For a show just like this
For a really stupid show
With POTATOES and QUEERS

I'll say its disgusting, atrocious, and dull
I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
I'll say its the worst -of-the-worst of the year
No wind down the plain, and its hard on your ear
I'll say its the work of an infantile mind
I'll say that its tasteless, and that you will find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a Tupper-Ware Party, wee-oo
So, do be a smarty!
Oo-oo-wee-oo
Hold on to that dollar
A little while longer
For spending it here
Why, it couldn't be wronger!
WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER?
THE HEART AND SOUL
THE PATTER?
THE PITTER?

And after this deadly review hits the paper
In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
Drug-addled brains, drug addled brains

(solo)

Hold on to that g-string
A little while longer
For spending it here
Why, it couldn't be wronger!

WHATS HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
WHERES IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER?
THE HEART AND SOUL
THE PATTER?
THE PITTER?

And after this deadly review hits the paper
In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey, brai-hains .