Broadway The Hard Way, ladies and gentlemen!
Broadway The Hard Way!

You are the girl
Somebody invented
In a grim little office
On Madison Ave

They were specific
They made you terrific:
Red lips;
Blue eyes;
Blonde hair;
Un-wise --
You're All-American
And, darling, they said so

YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BRAIN
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS NEVER A MAYBE
What?

Senator Hollings: Maybe I could make a good rock star; I don't know

Her head's full of bubbles;
Her nose is petite!
She looks like she never
Gets nothin' to eat!

She dines with actors
'N Wall Street characters:
Dull talk;
Nice clothes --
See her?
She blows --
She's so important
Cause he gets to do talk shows --

AND SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME
WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?
SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME
WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?
SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A NAME
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS PROBABLY HER HOBBY
She has moves up now;
She's come a long way --
They give her bunches
Of words she can say!

When she's in a bold mood
"Confinement Loaf" sounds good --
That's right
She's wrong!
Let's end
Her song

(It seems she's everywhere
We just can't escape her --
Is this a miracle of pure evolution?
And all the yuppie boys, they dream they will rape her --
She brings the 80's
To a thrilling conclusion!)

YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS TAME AS ME
ISN'T SHE TENDER?
YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS LAME AS ME
LET US REMEMBER
SHE GETS ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
UNLESS WE EXTEND HER --