[Intro: Cop]
Hey that's against the law! You're comin with me

[Chorus: Peter Griffin]
Can't touch me, can't touch me
Ju- Ju- Ju- Ju- Just like the bad guy, from Lethal Weapon 2
I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer you can't sue
I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street
I can riot, loot, not give a hoot
And touch your sister's teat, can't touch me!
You can't touch me!

[Interlude: Adam West, Peter Griffin & Cleveland Brown]
What in God's name is he doing?
You can't touch me!
I believe that's The Worm
Stop, Peter time!

[Verse 1: Peter Griffin]
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire then pee it out
Don't like it? Kiss my rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Can't touch me
Yeah, do the Peter Griffin bump, can't touch me!
[Verse 2: Peter Griffin]
I'm Presidential Peter, interns think I'm hot
Don't care if you're handicapped I'll still park in your spot
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Back Bay
It's Peter, go Peter, MC Peter, yo Peter
Let's see Regis rap this way! Can't touch me

[Outro: Peter Griffin]
Except for you... you can touch me