Brian:
I dream of Republican Town
Where men to the right of the aisle don't back down
The streets are aglow with the smell of apple pies
And babies come out of the womb in coats and ties

Nice place, huh, Rush?

Rush Limbaugh:
It's a paradise, Brian

Trees grow from Republican sod
And everyone prays to a proper right-wing God

Lois:
Republican Catholics?

Brian:
Yes, indeed, there are!

Lois:
Republican Muslims?

Brian:
Now, let's not go too far
Lois:
No Muslims?

Rush Limbaugh:
Eh, too many tall buildings

Brian:
They've outlawed all abortions
Late or early
It's a sin we can't abide

Lois:
What if you find a fetus
Left abandoned?

Rush Limbaugh:
We just take it
And we jam it back inside

Brian:
Aw, yes, 'cause I dream of Republican Town
The place where the happiest smile is Cheney's frown
I'll bet you a buck you won't find a damn thing wrong
'Cause when you come down to it
This is where we all belong
Lois:
Who else lives here?

Brian:
Oh, big names, Lois

We're watching Republican stars...

Rush Limbaugh:
Like sweet Mickey Rourke, and his gorgeous right-wing scars

Brian:
Chuck Norris is one...

Rush Limbaugh:
And he's got a right-wing beard

Brian:
Jon Voight is another...

Rush Limbaugh:
He's just right-wing weird

Brian:
His, uh, his daughter's pretty hot, though
Rush Limbaugh:
At one time, Brian. At one time

Lois:
But how 'bout global warming?

Brian:
It's a snow job
By Obama and his crew

Lois:
But aren't all his findings
Backed by science?

Rush Limbaugh:
Careful, Lois
Now you're sounding like a Jew!

Brian:
Oy!

We dream of Republican Town
Where Clinton is viewed as a crazy Commie clown

Rush Limbaugh:
A place where America's growing free and strong

Brian:
'Cause when you come down to it
This is where...
We...
All...
Belong!