[Verse 1]
You've got to look your best tonight you tubby little parasite
'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you
And though her pretty face may seem a special person's wettest dream
Before you get to see it, there are things you must do
We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow
Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow
With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello
Busting out a mile with style

[Chorus]
I know you just can't wait to stare at all, that luscious orange hair
But, boy, before you touch a single curl
You must impress that ultra bloomin', all-consumin', poorly groomin'
Down Syndrome girl

[Verse 2]
On any normal day you reek as if you're on a farting streak
Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool
But if you want a lady's love, you’re better off by smelling of
A gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool
A squirt, a spurt of something just for Ellen
And you'll see, that she will find you so compellin'
And she does, because the only smell that she'll be smellin'
Won't be coming from your bum
[Chorus]
You wanna take that little whore and spin her on the dancing floor
But boy, before you do a single twirl
You must impress that effervescing, self-possessing, no BS-ing
Down Syndrome girl

[Verse 3]
Her eyes are emerald portals to a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower
Her kiss is so inviting and her hugs are so delighting
And what makes them really nice is that they've got a little spice
Because they're tighter than a vise and they go on for an hour

[Instrumental Tap Dancing Break]

[Chorus]
My boy, between the two of us, we’ll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl
Now go impress that super-thrilling, wish-fulfilling, yoo-hoo spilling
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing, gaily singing, dingalinging
Stupefying, fortifying, as of Monday, shoelace tying
Stimulating, titillating, kitty-cat impersonating
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking, just a little crooked walking
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting, for some reason always shouting
Fascinating, captivating, happiness and joy creating
Down Syndrome Girl!
[Performed by Stevie Griffin as Seth MacFarlane]