[SANTA]
Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal
As the holiday feeling was filling us
But now instead, all we're feeling is dread
Because Christmastime is killing us!

[ELVES]
Each Christmas list gets us more and more pissed
Till the thought of existence is chilling us

[SANTA]
I'll tell you what— shove your list up your butt, because...

[SANTA & ELVES]
Christmastime is killing us!

[STEWIE]
But can't you see that what you do
Is a dream come true?
Can't you see that every smile
Makes it all worthwhile?

[SANTA}
No, screw you! It's all but through
There's too much to do
All those dreams are nightmares
And blank, icy stares!
Each little elf used to fill up a shelf
Making playthings and selflessly thrilling us
Now they're on crack and it feels like Iraq
Because Christmastime is killing us!

[ELVES]
Each model train only heightens the pain
Of the workload that's straining and drilling us

[SANTA]
Fingers all bleed, and, look! That guy just peed
Because Christmastime is killing us!

{STEWIE]
But can't you see our point of view?
We rely on you
Can't you see that Christmas cheer
Gets us through the year?

[SANTA]
My whole crew is black and blue
Can't you take a clue?
You may think I look great
But I'm twenty-eight!

[SANTA & ELVES]
Each jingle-bell is a requiem knell
And while you think it's swell, we are toiling in Hell!
[SANTA]
Take a look, you can tell, as a man, I'm a shell!

[SANTA & ELVES]
Because Christmastime is killing us!
Killing us!

Christmastime is killing us!