Brian: Listen kid, there's- there's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's not easy for me to say.

Stewie: Oh God, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Oh God--why does everyone always come out to me?

Brian: I just wanted to thank you for everything you did today. I know this whole trip has been a mess.

Stewie: Well, it hasn't been all bad. I must admit, there have been some moments that were, dare I say fun?

Brian and Stewie:

♪ We're off on the road to Rhode Island ♪ ♪ We're having the time of our lives ♪

Stewie: Take it, dog.

Brian: ♪ We're quite a pair of partners, just like Thelma and Louise. 'Cept you're not six feet tall... ♪

Stewie: ♪ Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees. ♪

Brian: Give it time.

Brian and Stewie:

♪ We're off on the road to Rhode Island ♪ ♪ We're certainly going in style ♪

Brian: ♪ I'm with an intellectual who craps inside his pants ♪
Stewie: ♪ How dare you! At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants ♪

Brian: Oh, pee jokes.

Brian and Stewie:

♪ We've travelled a bit and we've found ♪ ♪ Like a masochist in Newport, we're Rhode Island bound ♪

Brian: Crazy travel conditions, huh?

Stewie: First class and no class.

Brian: Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique.

Brian and Stewie:

♪ We're off on the road to Rhode Island ♪ ♪ We're not gonna stop 'till we're there ♪

Brian: Maybe for a beer.

Brian: ♪ Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry ♪

Stewie: ♪ That's right, until we're syndicated, Fox will never let us die. Please?

Brian and Stewie:
♪ We're off on the road to Rhode Island ♪ ♪ The home of that old campus swing ♪

Brian: ♪ We may pick up some college girls and picnic on the grass ♪

Stewie: ♪ Uhuhm, we'd tell you more, but we would have the censors on our ass ♪

Brian: Yikes!

Brian and Stewie:

♪ We certainly do get around. ♪ ♪ Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims ♪ ♪ Who are thrown out of Plymouth Colony. ♪ ♪ We're Rhode Island bound. ♪ ♪ Or like a group of college freshmen ♪ ♪ who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown. ♪ ♪ We're Rhode Island bound... ♪