[Verse 1]
They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this
They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss
And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss

[Chorus 1]
Here's the plain situation, there's no negotiation
With the fellas at the freakin' FCC

[Verse 2]
They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups
Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops
Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops

[Chorus 2]
Take a tip, take a lesson, you'll never win by messing
With the fellas at the freakin' FCC

[Bridge]
And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling
'Cause you can't say penis

[Verse 3]
So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst
And they stuck it in your mailbox, hoping you could be coerced
I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first
[Chorus 3]
They may just be neurotic, or possibly psychotic
They're the fellas at the freakin' FCC!