Well I had a dream and in it I was teaching cave people how to use blenders and toasters. I drive up to the cave in my car. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey. In my car
And there they are banging their heads against the walls of the cave. And I say: Hey folks! Listen, you're doing it the hard way. Lemme show you a thing or two. One. Two. Three. Four

Well I was trying to think of something to tell you about myself, and I came across this brochure they're handing out in the lobby. And it says everything I wanted to say--only better
It says: Laurie Anderson, in her epic performance of United States Parts 1 through 4, has been baffling audiences for years with her special blend of music ... slides ... films ... tapes ... films (did I say films?) ... hand gestures and more. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey! (Much more.)

Let's take a look around the stage at what we like to call The System--i.e., the highly sophisticated (very expensive) state-of-the-art gadgetry with which I cast my spell
Now let me tell you something: this stuff does not grow on trees

Well I was out in L.A. recently on music business, and I was just sitting there in the office filling them in on some of my goals
And I said: Listen, I've got a vision. I see myself as part of a long tradition of American humor. You know--Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Roadrunner, Yosemite Sam
And they said; "Well actually, we had something a little more adult in mind."
And I said: "OK! OK! Listen, I can adapt!"

Lucy I'm home. Lucy, I'm home!
LUCY? I'm home!!
I wonder what happened to her?